Things are a little bit more normal at home. The pressure to merely fix the situation and make a decision has been temporarily removed. At this point, I will just stand by and enjoy the time we have and make the best of it.
Afterwards, do I stay? No idea but at least the quality time we try to spend together is real, quality time where I don’t feel forced or manipulated.
I still need to keep dreaming. With the craziness this past week I have barely dreamt. Well I did, just have not remembered much. I need to get back into the habit of remembering things and work on conversing with my True Self to know what I want and why I am really at an impasse.
Last night’s dream:
My mom, her singing/dancing teacher and I were walking around in a mall, heading for one particular store. For some reason, we were looking at fancy dresses and accesories. Her teacher went inside one place and mom and I kept right on. We went into a place that was a jewelry/flower shop. Going in, I remember having this feeling of anxiety about not wanting to do this wedding shit again. It wasn’t clear if we were looking for something for me though. I just had that feeling.
We walked out the store and kept walking in the mall. Then we remembered that we walked right past where her teacher went and we were supposed to meet him. We turned around to go find him.