We watched Warrior last night with roommate. It was a good movie. Roommate and I made many silly comments and observations throughout and I had moments of missing df in these exchanges. I wish very much that he could have his chance to speak to my husband and that my husband could forgive him. Things would never be exactly as they were but I wish I and husband could have df back in our lives.
I also thought about the gift from my husband and about how I can’t take a good thing from him for what it is.
The movie was long. By the time it was over and I had showered and gone to bed it was 1am. I didn’t think I would dream but I asked myself about what meaning I took from the gift.
I was sitting on an armchair to the side of a classroom, observing a teacher and his class. To the right was the blackboard and teacher’s desk. To the left were the students’ desks. The teacher was more to the left, addressing the children who were about 10-12 years old.
Then they all looked toward me and I looked toward the teacher’s desk where Liquid Stranger, dressed in a robot suit was fiddling with a laptop. He kept his eye on me waiting for a cue. I nodded my head and he pressed a button. All around the classroom, the start of some Excision dubstep track came on with the signature bassy robot voice. A smile spread across my face and the students went berserk.
“Fire up the bass cannon!” The students started to stand up and respond to the song, nodding their heads and convulsing their bodies to the music. The teacher looked a little nervous but he wasn’t trying to contain their reaction. I just sat there enjoying the sounds and gave Liquid Stranger the robot props from across the room.
This next part should be part of the same dream but I don’t remember if anything happened in between. I was sitting in a workbench area in a swivelly chair. The workbench had small electronic parts, soldering iron, screws, bits all over. Stephen Chows as he looked in Kung Fu Hustle was in the chair next to me.
I knew distinctly that we were on a spaceship, travelling slowly on course to an unknown destination. Stephen Chow was the captain. I was just sitting beside him, tinkering when another crew member had come along just to chill with us. Then the captain turned to me and handed me a gadget. Apparently it’s something I’ve always wanted. I was super excited and turned the gadget over in my hands, inspecting it, all the while thanking him.
Then some of the parts came loose in my hands but the gadget wasn’t necessarily broken, just missing a few small parts that held it all together. I was a little disappointed because while it didn’t look brand new, I hadn’t expect it to fall to several pieces when I first laid hands on it. I looked at the captain and asked, “Did you know when you got it?”
He replied, “I knew but it just takes a little bit of work. I’ll fix it up for you. Don’t worry.” I was still happy and kept looking at the gadget, checking out what bits were missing and how it could be put back together.
I realized something else as well after my Honor and Pretense post. My husband is very honorable with the few people he considers trustworthy, people he considers close friends. He’s never there for anybody on an emotional level so it’s hard to tell who he thinks of as important to him. However, because he is honorable in that respect, that’s why he is so shocked and disgusted by our actions to him. This includes my betrayal, df’s disloyalty and roomie doing things behind his back.