A Dance Rehearsal and a Hesitation to Re-roll

Dreams 06.20.12

I walked into an elementary school gym. A bunch of chairs were set up facing the stage and a handful of adults were sitting, quietly talking to each other. Then something started onstage. There was music. Then a group of young girls of ages 6-12 all dressed in lilac leotards dotted with brush strokes of magenta and purple began prancing around on stage in some sort of formation.

I continued my slow walk behind the audience, eyes still fixed on the stage. Then the girls formed a line at the back of the stage and one by one they hopped off stage right and reentered near the front, skipping and jumping in mid-air then edit stage left. I looked down at my own clothing and realize I am in the same leotards and I should be part of that line-up on stage! If I don’t make it onto the stage now I will miss my cue and ruin everything.

I hurried to the backstage area from stage left, listening carefully to the music for my cue, walking up the stairs. When my cue came in the music time, I had just stepped onto the last step to the level of the stage. I dove towards the stage and hopped on time to the music but opposite to the direction all the other girls had gone, praying that the contrasting direction seemed intentional, part of the choreography. I lumbered through the rest of the dance clumsily, following the motion of the other girls.

When the dress rehearsal was done I went down to the audience to my mom. She said with a smile that I did good. I told her I did my best but I was disappointed with my self, just a bit. I told her that it felt like I was supposed to know what I was doing and I just forgot. It’s like the a shadow of the memory of my motions were in still in my body. She said it looked like I was struggling a little but that I did good anyway.

Then somehow time skipped a bit and the coach/teacher was speaking loudly, strictly to the girls and I. She was dictating our very full schedule for classes and rehearsals for the next few weeks. The schedule was also written on the chalkboard. Then the bell rang and all the girls left the stage/classroom. I didn’t actually see the teacher or the other girls at this point. It was like a movie scene where you just hear the voice and sound effects indication the action while my eyes were the camera, floating through the stage space, doing a slow pan right across the chalkboard.

Then I sat there on the floor frantically trying to input the schedule into my blackberry and made all sorts of mistakes. I kept having to cancel and redo. Another girl was just jotting it down on a notepad. In a few quick strokes of her pen, she was done and walked away very satisfied with herselfwhile I sat there still fumbling.

Then I could hear some tech support person in my ear kind of making fun of me for my blackberry but also making helpful suggestions on what I should do. Then we proceeded to do some troubleshooting for my desktop. He sounded very professional. However I could hear either his coworkers or buddies in the background making jokes, obviously commenting on something on tv. Occasionally my tech support guy made a comment to them but the tone was so much more casual than his “professional” voice I couldn’t be 100% sure that it was him. I wished I was talking to the buddy version of him rather than the professional version. Finally he told me we were done and I should reboot and start whatever program I wanted to use.

Turns out I was trying to play Diablo 3 and when he saw, he was pleasantly surprised. Then I thought about starting a brand new character but let out a heavy sigh. I didn’t want to have to re-roll and setup all my character attributes and appearance again. Actually irl, you don’t even need to do that in Diablo 3, I was just remembering every other RPG I’ve played.

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