Almost Lucky

Dreams 08.21.12
Seems like I start off my entries lately with a whole lot of “I cannot remember’s” but last night, I cannot remember too much from the beginning of the dream again. I want to say but am not sure that I was with a group of friends at a quiet party / get together.

I left the party with my old old highschool friend VW (who I still see Facebook updates from occasionally). A little background on VW. She was someone who in junior high hung out with a couple of other girls who were considered “rich”, spoiled and snarky. They weren’t super mean but they were supposedly at the top of the mini junior high pyramid, at least in our class, thus they were labelled, by my little group of outcasts as the “mean girls”. It is so strange to look back and see social structure through the eyes of my 13 year old self. How absolutely wrong we were about most people! But we were young, it was part of our developmental process for learning about the real world. We assign arbitrary roles to people and have a longer term role-playing episode just like when we were in kindergarten playing house. Someone played daddy or mommy and someone was the baby. This is much the same. Then our eyes opened and the tiny field of view to the world changed, little by little.

VW, I would honestly say in retrospect, opened up my world just a bit. I was paired up with her in one particular science project I think. Anyway, through this time, I learned that she was a total geek about the things she found interesting, about the things she loved. She wasn’t shallow at all as I imagined her and she was most definitely not a bully. In fact, she was beautiful, uber intelligent, conscientious, open-minded, hard-working and kind. This girl IS the whole package. I don’t think I ever listed it all out in this way but really, at 13 years old this girl had the most level head in the world. If I were her parents, back then or now, I would not have a single thing to worry about and would be so proud of everything she did. At the time, she was dating my first love, whom I would fall in love with 4 years later.

Anyway, that was a total tangent but a good tribute to a great person whom I wish here the best of all the world because as far as I know, she deserves every bit of it and is willing to work for it and would never take it for granted. In short, I suppose in the back of my mind, deep down somewhere, I’ve always had a little crush on VW. Never realized before and not really sure of that now but I guess that explains what almost happened in my dream.
After leaving the party in the dream, VW were walking across a college campus. We weren’t attending the college. VW actually works as a professor at some university, I think, in some kind of insect research studies field. We were actually sneaking away somewhere to have a make-out and maybe a little lezbo sex. (Not that I’ve ever done that, really never tried but never ruled it out. I’m just not fully attracted to women that way in waking life.)

Anyway, we get to a warehouse or studio building which looked vacant for the summer. We found a service elevator and pulled up the gate to take a look. There were a couple of mattresses inside. We climbed up onto them and closed the elevator doors.

Then we start going at it and weird that I can’t even describe much of it because like I said, I’ve never even kissed a girl like that before irl. I suppose we were kissing and groping each other a lot and started to take off each others clothes. In my mind I was going to lay her back and take her pants off to uh…eat her out. So I was all ready to do that. When she laid back on the mattress and I started to slide her pants down, she started to get all distracted. Starts mumbling and talking about her work, things she had to do, her hobbies or something. Whatever, I don’t remember but the point is, she was anywhere else but here with me. So I was totally turned off by it yet she didn’t actually seem to want to stop.

I cannot remember how the dream actually ended now, just that I was very annoyed by her distraction because I felt what could’ve been a perfect moment between us was spoiled.

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