I’m Only Happy When It Rains

Dreams 10.29.12
What I remember about last night’s dream is that there were variations of a theme where a storm is coming, I am in the midst of it to see it hit and something about the storm turns out to be surprising and wondrous and I have a moment where I get lost in the beauty of it. I only remember pieces of some parts of the dream though.

I am walking through an old city with a group of people like a walking tour group. To be honest, the city looked like how Israel looks in movies. Or the city where the Disney cartoon Aladdin took place. The point is that the houses were sandy colored buildings with squarish holes in the walls for windows. (Sorry if this is totally ignorant of me.) The streets were narrow, some places covered in stone and the whole city was built on various hills so there were inclines and downhill areas on the path we walked along. The leader of the group mentioned that we should head back to a safe place because the storm was on its way. I paused to look out a “window” punched out of a wall that overlooked the city. In the distance there was a mountain so the city was at the foot of these hills.

I could see the dark storm clouds moving really quickly, rolling into the mountain, casting a shadow over the city below, drenching it in rain. Big but sparse droplets had already started falling where I stood. It was almost where I was.

Just beyond the clouds on the left, the sun was setting. It gave the edges of the storm a deep reddish orange glow. It also made the edges of the wet city seem like they were overlaid in gold. I took this in and thought about how amazing it looked. Just then the storm poured buckets of rain on me but I had a smile on my face, one that no one else could see or understand as I alone peered out this window.

In another part of the dream, I sat in the rear passenger seat of an SUV. I was on a road trip with 4 other people. The landscape outside the car was like many scenes that I think come from the movie Twister – vast expansive, moving grey skies and flat green fields. We were driving along the empty highways, very aware that storm clouds hung over us, gathering momentum.

At one point, we stopped at a three-way intersection because we could see a wall of what looked like mist (we knew it was rain) moving from the left of where we were to the right, so coming directly our way. It looked dense. We decided to just stop driving and sit through until it passed so we waited for about 10 seconds and just braced ourselves. It came so fast, it looked like there was a lot of force in the wind. We didn’t expect any windows to break but certainly thought the rain hitting the car would sound like loud thuds in the metal.

As the wall approached the howling sounds of the wind became terrifying. Everyone including me had our heads down, looking at the floor. When the wall of rain did “hit” the car, it was like it just caressed the vehicle and brushed right by us. The wind and sound of rain was still sounded really loud. I looked up and saw dense white streaks (the rain) in front of us.

However, when I looked to the right, down the road, there was a glow of white sunlight behind all the storm clouds and the rain droplets were back lit. I suddenly had this slow motion perspective of the water droplets that had just blown past us. They were like little strings of round micro-pearls, snaked into random configurations. I saw another cluster pass by just at the front of the car and followed it with my eyes. The cluster wiggled around and seemed to be “talking” to me, waving hello and goodbye.

I looked around the car at my colleagues/friends, whoever they were, still hunched over trying to hide from the storm. I looked back out through the front window assessing just how bad the wind and rain was. Then I decided it was actually pretty bad so I wasn’t about to walk around outside, nor should we continue the drive. However, it was too interesting, amazing and beautiful to miss. So I kept looking to the right towards the sunlight and the back lit rain, happy that I had a chance to see it.

Also at one point my dad was in the dream, don’t remember which part, telling me to just take care and be careful.


Lighting Display and Sweet Flute Music

Dreams 10.28.12
It was the middle of the night. I was walking outside in a big field away from a mansion towards a fountain / halloween / christmas display. The fountain was a semi circle, with a back wall. The wrong edge of the circle had posts with lights wrapped around it, trees and bushes and other decorations. The lights were on, a dim white color at the moment. I jumped into the into the pit of a fountain and started fiddling with some controls that were in one corner, hidden from plain view. I looked up out of the pit and there was someone up there helping me as I adjusted lighted decorations, cycling through different colors. I asked the person if it looked alright each time I changed it to a different color scheme and he/she gave me feedback. Finally I settled on a configuration and I think I climbed back out.

Later in the dream, I made an order to buy steel flute over the phone. Then I am walking down a street that went pretty steeply downhill. I was pulling a TV on a trolley, the kind they used to roll out in school to show an educational video in class. I see a shop up ahead and pulled over quickly to park the tv cart. I did a bad job because as I was going downhill, it gained momentum behind me and I had to turn it abruptly, then stop it, without having the tv flop over on the pavement.

I go inside the store to find the guy who I ordered the steel flute from. There were lots of people bargaining for small items. It was pretty hectic. I see a friend/cousin/sister also trying to bargain for something. The guy behind the counter was walking around with a furrow in his brow, annoyed and generally pretty inattentive to the customers trying to get his attention, haggling with him even whilst he did not respond. He walked over to my friend and ended up giving her a plastic flute. My friend opened it as I watched and it looked to have a pretty bad build quality. The guy was already slowly walking away. I was upset for my friend and upset for myself, knowing that I’d probably get a bum deal as well.

I hesitated for a moment then I dove across the counter and grabbed him by the collar to get his attention. I asked him where my steel flute was. Was it gonna be a piece of shit like the plastic one he just gave my friend? Then my friend/cousin plays the plastic flute and the music that came out of it was the sweetest sound I’ve heard. I let go of the guy embarrassed by my actions. He reaches to a shelf behind him and shoves a box with the steel flute in it into my hands. I reflexively palmed him the money that was promised over the phone – a small amount, like $10. I opened the box to see two halves of a flute packed in styrofoam that needed to be put together. Although it was packed in such a cheap way, I could somehow tell that the flute would still play wonderful music. The guy told me to leave right away, wthout giving me the “bundle” of extras we had agreed to on the phone. I felt it somewhat unfair but considering my horribly rude manner toward him, I conceded and left the store.

A Hidden Door and Riding a Small Bike

Commuting on the bus as usual this morning thinking I had lost all memory from last night’s dream. Then a girl with a backpack riding a motorcycle went by, jogging my recall. It’s still not the full story but enough to write about.

Dreams 10.26.12
I walked into a hotel room. It had dark grey walls but very high ceilings. The light was either not on or dimmed. The only light came from the bathroom which was every inch covered with a swirly greyish beigh marble. Above the mirror was a bank of lights, not decorative at all or fitting to the rest of the decor. It was simple, like the lights they install on a makeup table, backstage at a theatre.

I think I was talking to another person who was in the room, only there wasn’t really any verbal talking. They were there but insubstantial. Almost like a ghost. Well I mean they kept shifting into different people and just seemed like they were not physically present. I recall talking to this being which at one point was my mom, another point my husband and at another points other people whom I cannot remember now. I do remember removing my lounge pants so that they dropped down around my ankles. I stepped out of them and peered into thee A mirror.

All I saw a reflection back out in the hallway, a grey door that led to the next room, only there should’ve been a wall behind the mirror, behind me. The door had a raised frame but because everything was colored the same, were it not framed by the mirror, it could have easily been missed. I don’t know what else happened here.

Next bit I can recall, I am outside riding up a driveway on a very small, low powered motorcycle. It had such little power I thought it was a scooter that just looked like a motorcycle. But it was like a cartoon, like it had life in it. Everytime I turned the throttle on the handlebars, they would move closer together than kind of release it back out. It was like the bike had to take a deep breath, make a lot of effort and whatever it breathed back out was the extra gas I was trying to give the engine. But still, it didn’t go very fast, just loud.

The driveway was curved, to the right and on an incline. I approached some open black gates, beyond them was a mansion. However there were a bunch of kids playing and laughing just in front. I remember worrying about the kids but my bike was so slow I didn’t stop. I remember actually knocking a kid over as I rode by, not with the bike but with my arms and legs that were sticking out the side.

I rode past the gates up to the circular driveway in front of the mansion. A few friends including df were there. They were doing something on the lawn, maybe playing a game. When I stopped the bike, they all stopped and started to come towards the bike to gather around me, df was first, closest. All the while, they were making fun of me or asking curious questions about the bike but not in a mean way. They were showing interest. Before df could actually reach the bike, he was basically about 2 feet away, I kick started the engine and rode off, wobbly then righted my balance. I wanted badly to stick around but something in me told me I had to go, before he/they reached me, that it wasn’t a good idea.

I rode past the gates going the other way, zoomed past the kids and turned the curve left sharply this time, leaning my body into the curve. Since the bike was so small and low, I ended up dragging my left toe on the ground breifly. The last thing I remember was that I glanced down at my left show to check for damage/injury and silently thanked god to see that it was fine – just a bit worn, scratched and scuffed.

Ga! Wiped Clean again…

I know there were 2 big parts to the dream with lots of details and it was super interesting. But I snoozed one time too many this morning and completely forgot I even had dreams until 2 hours after I woke up. Then I could only remember that I was doing something important and “official” within the context of the dreams.

I had to work from home today. So the lesson here is, any change of daily/morning routines will throw a monkey wrench into recalls.

A Lucky Find and Being a Star

Dreams 10.21.12
We got out of an old, boxy red mid-sized sedan from the 80s to early 90s. It was my family, on a road trip, making a pit stop at a local supermarket. My sister was in her late teens so I must’ve been early-mid teens. I don’t think anyone said a word, definitely not my mom or dad. My sister and I just gave each other glances that didn’t seem to mean much.

When we were inside, my mom and dad split ways to walk through the store. My sister and I walked together, hand-in-hand walking up and down the aisles. It wasn’t a big store but they had massive amounts of stock so their shelving was like a warehouse, like Costco. We came upon a bank of Vita drinks (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vitasoy). We continued down the aisle for a bit and came upon a light peach, larger than the normal 375ml box. We looked closely and it was actually Yakult (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yakult), repackaged in an extra large tetrapak format by Vita. For some reason, my sister and I were ecstatic about this. It was like we found liquid gold.

We walked out of the store, holding each other’s hands and each of us clutching and sipping from a big box of delicious yogurt drink, knowing that behind us our parents were carrying more of it in their grocery bags amongst other purchased food items. We jumped back into the car with our drinks, happy with everything, without a care in the world. Now that we had our drinks, it didn’t matter if the rest of the road trip was a bore. No matter how dull the scenery looked, how grey, how empty, we had our Yakult!

Later on in the dream, I was an adult again but not sure what the setting was. I was sitting at a computer desk and either a friend or someone from work presented me with a programming problem. I quickly punched out a program on the keyboard, compiled it on screen. The problem was solved, everyone around was impressed. I was pleased with myself.

Left Behind on a Bank of Muddy Waters

Dreams 10.20.12
I was about to go on work/personal trip to HK, planning it last minute because the deciding factors for the trip had only just stabilized. I knew that 6 other friends were going to the same destination but all in hotels in different parts of town. They all had arrangements of 2 and 2.

I knew one pair was jr and df. I mulled over which of the groups to call and ultimately knew it would be them because I’d feel most comfortable and less imposing. The others were a bunch of girls, who are nice but well, I have a hard time being comfortable around most women. When I called, I called jr’s number and hesitantly left a voicemail to ask if I could sleep on the floor or have a room in the apartment they were going to stay at.

Then I was at the destination which wasn’t like HK at all. It was very jungle-like and tropical. I was at the edge of a rushing river where the road just ended suddenly. I was stuck, unable to cross and I could see my friends floating off in their car/hover boat. I was left behind and stood on my own. The wind was blowing really strong through the trees on both sides of the river. The rushing river was a muddy brown.

Then I was at work in md’s office. It was a small room that was perfectly cube shaped. Her desk faced the door, so wide there was only maybe 2 feet on each side before the wall. The side of the cubic room behind the desk was one big solid sheet of glass window that looked out to the cityscape. It must’ve been just past dusk, the sky was a dark grey/blue. Seeing the building out there, the skyscraper, including the one we were in, must’ve been really tall. We were very high, at least about 30 floors up.

She calls a client on speaker phone while I had my notebook in front of me, read to take notes. She tells the client that it was awkward to have this conversation, to which the client agreed. I casually got up and closed the door and just sat back down taking notes, head down. Md sings praises about me for closing door, that they should feel more assured now the conversation was more private. She gave me an assuring and grateful smile and I returned the sentiment with a smile of my own.

Attack from Plastic Space Fish

There were definitely two dreams. One, before I woke up in the middle of the night. I forgot all of that. The second one I am writing about almost 2 days later so a lot of details are missing but the fantastical nature of the dream I think I can still recall so here it is.

Dreams 10.20.12
I was walking into a village that looked like a medieval diorama or a plastic christmas village sans snow. There was a calm, winding river running through the middle of town with cobblestone streets on each side, lined with toweing evergreens of all sorts. Brick houses of various colors stood along both sides of the streets and there was a stone arch bridge that connected the riverbank.

I stood and took it all in, in awe of the beautiful town before me, not really believing my eyes. Then a silvery blue bubbley space craft hovered down from nowhere, just above the river closer to the opposite bank. The outline of a door traced itself out of the side in light and became an opening. Then a giant green, plasticy fish with huge eyeballs that looked like a massive fishing bait popped out of thin air in front of the opening. It floated in the air, slowly descending upon the river. It continued to float along, above the river’s surface as if it was inside a soap bubble. A couple of other giant plastic fish appeared and did the same along the part of the river flowing away from me. I knew that they were somehow feasting on everything below the surface.

I had a glimpse, a vision of being under the water, watching as all the regular fish and life literally disappearing, just vanishing as the shadow of fish in the bubble drifted past. I ran across the stone bridge towards one particular building. It must’ve been the town office. There was a waiting area with three windows, only one of which was attended. I went up to the attendant and started babbling, warning and complaining that something must be done about the giant fish or else this town will be ruined. The attendant was joined by another officious looking person but instad of hearing what I was saying, they just seemed to be trying to calm me down, as if I was hysterical. I felt frustrated and angry, that they did not care enough about their wonderful little town to heed my warning or even look out the window to see that I was telling the truth.

Shooting ‘Round the Neighbourhood

Dreams 10.18.12
It was fall time. I am running through a neighbourhood to a house that felt like it should be home. The streets had lots of trees, leaves rustling. I stop at the corner of a group of town-houses (a shortcut to get there faster) and I pause, catching my breath.

Then it’s early winter. I am going through the same neighbourhood again in a vehicle, looking out the window. I am in the passenger seat, not driving (not sure who was). I watch as another little asian woman, stockier than me running through the same route as I did before. I am her and me at the same time. Again, I get close to the house but stop at the corner, catching my breath, not reaching my destination. In the vehicle I think to myself that the house is close to the subway in distance but not enough. It would seem very far in the midst of winter and that walk would be a drag.

Now it’s midday, maybe spring. The leaves are greener on the trees. I am going to a house in a silver SUV. My mother drove. We park on the street corner about 2 houses down from our destination. We see a car go behind us and pull into the driveway of the house next to ours. We waited and watched before walking towards or house because I did not want the neighbour to see us. As we stood waiting I had a flash of memory that we had done “this” before. “This” being that we’ve shot a scene of the indie movie on our front lawn. I saw myself in the scene (may have been a commercial) dresses in black gothy clothes with medium length blue dyed hair, pale-ish make-up on.

Then we walk towards the house and my mother actually approached the neighbour still in his car and asked if he wanted to help during our shoot. I was annoyed but didn’t say anything.

Then we were inside the house that would be the location for the shoot. We were just using a very simple camera. I setup the shot, camera position, which would be static. I would be in the scene and all my mom had to do was press record. I was pacing back and forth as she ran off to another room with the old dude (the neighbour) to look for an unnecessary prop – a little spoon spatula thing. You know sometimes when you are at a beauty counter and the person scoops out a little sample of cream out for you into a little sample tub? That thing. I went to the door of the room where she and the old dude were. They were kneeling on the floor, backs toward the doors, looking through the piles of paper and whatever other shit accumulated in that room, for a tiny little spatula.

I wanted to tell them to just forget about it but she WAS being super supportive of helping me shoot this useless video for whatever purpose. So I went back into the next room and called my sister. We talked on the phone for a little while. I think I was opening mail which may not have been hers and telling her what the contents were. I also told her mom was looking for a tiny spoon.

Then the doorbell rang and I opened the doors to the kitchen into the hallway. I was in the house that I grew up in. My current dog trotted towards the door and paused to look back at me. I saw the old dude approach the door from the left hallway to open the left door while my mom opened the right. Even though my dog wasn’t trying to dash out, my instant reaction was fear. Fear that she would dash out of the house like my dog used to do, the one I had growing up.

It was bright outside. I could see the light spill in through the open doors. Someone was coming up the walkway towards the storm door but it was so bright and I was only halfway down the hallways that I could not make out who it was.


Another disappointing recall today.

Dreams 10.17.12
I may have been in an institution or hospital of some sort. It was a place to rehabilitate my knees, which have gotten a lot better since sunday but I am still hobbling a little. Beyond those sketchy specifics, I honestly cannot remember anymore.

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