Running Away and My Father, the Superstar

Here are rough notes on the past two nights’ dreams. I haven’t been writing them down in detail because I’ve been feeling a bit depressed over the weekend. The dreams I would say contributed to the sadness.

I had three different dreams this night, all surrounding the same-ish theme with varying degrees of urgency and emotion: getting away from husband. The details get hazier as the night goes on.

Dream 1
The first was kind of a dream before I really fell asleep. I remember closing my eyes and all the lights in the room were off. It was “pitch black” except the faint glow of my blackberry clock that always comes on when it is plugged in. It was ever so faintly lighting the white mesh drapes tied and hung around our metal four poster bed. As I drifted off to sleep, the dream’s images were formed from shadows and those wispy white things.

Details are hazy but I was literally running away from husband. He was in fast pursuit of me for some reason and I was terrified. Not really for my life in the sense that he was trying to harm me but it felt like I was being run into a corner, trapped.

Dream 2
I was sitting down on a couch with husband, about to watch tv. His wandering hands start pawing at me and trying to grope me. I stand up to reject him only to see his hands and arms have detached from his body, still trying to latch on to me. His face was now a blur but it was still him. I backed away to try and shake off the disembodied limbs but the kept crawling towards me.

I escaped out the back door to the backyard and slid the glass door shut behind me as soon as I could. The twisted, hands and arms were right up against the glass, scratching & pawing like zombie limbs, trying to open the glass door. I stood outside, looking at the limbs through the glass, seeing husband’s blank face and body still sitting on the couch like a rock in the background, unmoving. I was scared but now I breathed a sigh of relief.

The third one I cannot remember details about but I know it was about running away or leaving husband in some way, either literally or figuratively because when I woke up, I forgot the dream details but was unpleasantly surprised at the consistency of the night’s dream activities. It kind of put me into a depressive mode all afternoon.

I had moved back into my mother’s house into a spare bedroom (looked nothing like the real place). It was all white with sheer white curtains and a simple bed. There was a white dresser in the corner with a little CRT TV.

A TV program was on that was a variety show. There was some sining, some dancing. Then a sketch portion came on and my dad was in it, acting. I was very surprised to see him but was amazed to see how good he was. He was acting his ass off and he looked charismatic and impressive.

Then my mom poked her head in the door and commented on my dad on the show. She complimented him and saying he put on the stage make-up on his own as well. She said look closely to see what an amazing job he did because he looked years younger. I walked up closer to the TV so I could get a better look. Indeed his make-up job was fantastic. His face was so smooth and flawless. His skin-tone was healthy. In my head I thought about how his acting lessons have really paid off and how things are really gonna go well for him now after this TV performance.

(FYI – My dad is NOT an actor. He is, in real life, far, far, FAR from the person who showed up on the TV show in my dream.)


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