A Not-So-Cleansing Flood

Yesterday’s dream recall was a bust.  Not sure why because I had a full night’s sleep.  Maybe it was because I was determined to wake up to go to the gym. I wasn’t rushed or anything but maybe my mind was occupied.

This morning is a bit better but I literally had to claw at my memories to get it back. Like I woke up know a tiny vague nugget and I had to lie there thinking, “There was more, remember remember remember!” Anyway, here’s what I have. The order is probably a bit jumbled.

Dreams 03-31-13

I was the house that I grew up in. Everyone (meaning my mom, sister, some friends and possibly husband) were all leaving to go somewhere – towards the city I think. I followed them out the door to the end of the driveway, watching them go. The sky was a vibrant blue that faded into the distance with just a few large fluffy clouds. It looked idyllic but  I had a bad feeling.

Then I was in the basement but it didn’t look like the basement of the house I grew up in. It was the basement to a much smaller house. The stairs were plain white, leading down to a small area with bare concrete floor. There were a couple of closed doors. As I walked down the stairs I felt like the whole house shook, or maybe I just lost my balance. It felt like I was thrown to one side, much like when a ship hitting a wave causes you to lose your balance. I could see the pathetic decorations (tiny cheaply framed prints) falling off the walls. When I got to the bottom of the stairs, I found myself standing in waist high water and it still seemed to be coming in more.  I stood there hands up, holding onto the wood beams under the stairs for support.  Then I saw myself from a third person perspective.  I had tears rolling down my eyes. The world was ending and everyone who had left earlier is probably gone. At this point I couldn’t even go out to check.

Later I was in one of the upstairs bedroom, looking out the window to check if the water had receded. It had mostly but it looked like a ghost town outside. I could not see a single a sign of life. It just looked like the streets had been swept clean by the flood and there was some debris gathered around the sewers. In the distance, over the neighbourhood, I could see the city looming on the horizon. I thought to myself that it was time to venture out but did I really want to go? Was I ready? I decided I should take a shower and think on it. That’s step one to getting myself ready.

When I came out of the shower, I was naked with a towel drying my hair. I opened the door and while standing in the hallway saw my reflection on 3 mirrors on all the other bedroom doors. Except one, which was wide open.  I went up to it and found another full length mirror on it and closed it. Then I went back to the bathroom and walked back out several times, observing the effect of my naked reflection times four. I liked what I saw, I was proud. Especially since I was alone in the house, probably in this whole neighbourhood, I kind of stood there admiring my female form. By the way this was no longer my old house. This is now a fictional house I shared with 3 other roommates.

Then I heard the front door and voices coming from downstairs and I dove back into the bathroom, afraid of getting caught naked. It sounded like two of my roommates returning from getting groceries. But after I had put all my clothes back on, I found the house empty once again and I wondered if I imagined it. Am I really the only one here?

Then I was in the city. I remember walking along a glass covered walkway and there were many people there, busy, going about their day. The glass walkway looked out over the river and I saw a walkway with big concrete slabs right by the water. It was inviting and I wanted to go down there. I did just that and when I stood there, a familiar voice approached me from my left but it wasn’t a welcomed person. I cannot remember who it was now but basically this person told me certain people that I thought were gone had survived and were all gathered at this one place. She offered to take me there. I could not refuse so I let her lead the way.

When I got there, I saw a bunch of people that I was glad had survived. My husband was there too but when I saw him my heart sank. I didn’t know how much time had passed since the flood but I instantly felt trapped again. Am I expected now by all these people who had survived to continue this charade? I literally felt as if the modern decor in this place was caving in around me. All I could think at that moment, looking at these people was how do I escape?

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