Stubbornness Wastes Time

08.12.13
There’s a lot of I don’t remember today.

I read “at home” in my dream in a house I have never seen before trying to get ready for a job interview that I didn’t want to go to. I was kind of stalling. The problem was that the interview was set up by a previous boss who I kept in touch with after she had left the company. She was someone I really respected. In some chance meeting she wrote a building name and a time for me to meet a colleague of her about a possibly an excellent job opportunity, except I had lost that piece of paper.

I was certain of the place but the time… I think it might have been at 9am in a part of town I wasn’t that familiar with. I had also found out which company it would be for after the chance meeting. The only publicly posted job was something that seemed far from what I do and probably not much if any of a pay raise. Anyway I left the house after a lot of stalling and thinking if this would be a complete waste of time.

I must’ve left the house with my mom and uncle. We all emerged from the subway escalator into a beautiful tall lobby of a business building which looked like the one I should be at but wasn’t. I probably looked confused so my uncle said that the building I was looking for was half a block north, that it shouldn’t take long to walk over. I grumbled because I was kind of hoping to be lost. In my mind I was already fantasizing about calling them, finding out I was already an hour late then I could give them my story of getting lost.

As I left the building nu mom and uncle wished me luck. I stood on the street clearly seeing the building. It was further than half a block, maybe a block and a bit but it looked far because I didn’t want to go. Then I saw a bus coming my way so I got on at the bus stop conveniently there.

I seemed to be the only one on the bus and I must’ve fallen asleep quickly. When I woke up I was about 10 blocks away almost at the edge of the suburbs. I asked the driver to stop telling him I missed my stop. When he asked me where I intended to go I told him, and he was like that’s only half a block from where you got on.

I got off the bus anyway and assessed just how far I was. I was stubborn. I was actually considering walking back there except now I would certainly be late. I would also hate the walk, hate that I went back, hate that I was being a stubborn idiot. But I knew I would do it anyway. What I waste of time I thought to myself.

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