Still fuzzy…

Recall is definitely still fuzzy but I am remembering more feelings and shapes without specific effort. Maybe the trick is not to force the memories and they will come on their own.

Dreams 04.21.17
There was something that I did, something that felt like some kind of ritual, which I didn’t think worked in the dream at first. I remember rushing into a little sunken corner used bookstore of some sort. Maybe I was running away from something or just dodging. It didn’t feel like there was imminent danger.

The bookstore itself was extremely messy. There were a few bookshelves against the walls full of books but they were inaccessible because there were stacks and stacks of books just pulled up at different heights, not neatly, just all at different angles on the floor. I think the carpet was a gross dingy dark red, ripped at places, just really worn like it hasn’t been cleaned in thirty years. I can’t remember if there was someone in the store or not. I don’t think I was looking in particular but I expected a shop keeper I suppose. There might’ve been a backroom that I discovered which I may or may not have gone through. It was also around this backroom door that I got the feeling that whatever ritual I had performed earlier on the dream may actually have worked. Something, a being or an energy, maybe just a feeling, had been summoned and it was “coming for me”.

Then I remember walking with a couple friends (no faces that I can recall, just people in my dream that I was hanging with) through this underground area. It reminded me of the large, Bauhaus styled, monstrous grey structures in the beginning of the old Total Recall movie. We were headed down, further underground, rushed as of we were attempting to catch a train. We were just having fun running around this big building though. I got a sense that if we missed whatever we were supposed to catch, it did not really matter. Everywhere we went there were no other people, just empty grey walls and floors, a gloomy playground of dead concrete. While running down a flight of stairs, we encountered 2 other people running the opposite way. When they rounded the corner of the stairs and saw us, they split and went around us on opposite sides of the stairs. As they passed I felt that feeling again like the thing I may have summoned by ritual was there, following me but not quite with me.

I had a mild fear of this thing that I did not know but at the same time I wanted to meet it, reluctantly.

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