A Concert Mission

I did NOT become lucid or aware or even remember anything during the long sleep last night. But my morning 8-9:30am nap resulted in a successful dream-chaining and a very detailed account. I guess that’s something to be happy about.

I downloaded Sleep Cycle for my iPod Touch. My friend told me it wouldn’t work because I sleep on a memory foam bed with the dog and another person but it seemed to register things well and I’d say fairly accurately from last night. Maybe I can work out my REM cycles and setup some timed audio cues while I sleep in the future.

Dreams 07.06.12
I am inside a large resort (kind of like a ski lodge) with some friends, not very close. They were all sitting in the cafeteria area having a laugh. I felt isolated as I walked past them and nobody noticed but in truth I was withdrawing anyway.

I carried a bag of clothes and other personal items down the stairs and went inside a long room with high ceilings. It was a big room where all the walls were covered with those small pay lockers you get at the pool. I shoved my things into one without paying and went outside.

The outside of the resort was a large concrete yard with a sloped-up grass lawn at the edge. At the top of the slope were mesh fences. If you looked at this “resort” from an aerial view it would probably look more like a compound or a prison. I went up to the fence and started throwing things onto it. It felt like I was doing some kind of work. For whom? I don’t know.

On the other side of the fence, a huge concert event was happening and Halestorm was playing one of their awesome songs. I started belting it out along with the music. Then I noticed someone else close by was doing it too. I looked down the slope to my right and saw another girl sitting on the lawn belting it out. She was just lying their on a towel. There was a guy next to her sleeping with something over his face.

She was younger than me, maybe in her late teens or early twenties. I would say that I feel like if my teen years had been slightly different, she’s who I would’ve been in that age. In reality I became more like that in my mid twenties after university – individual and free-spirited. She looked up at me in acknowledgment. I turned back towards the fence to do my “work”, still singing loudly, now in unison with the girl. I observed the tents and field where the concert was happening wishing I was there. Then the girl asked me, “So are we gonna go or what?”

I stopped working, turned around and started walking back towards the building and without looking at her, said, “Hells yes!” I knew she got up at that point to follow me. Then I said, “If you don’t mind I’m just gonna find the locker I didn’t pay for and put my tools in there so we could go. I don’t want to be carrying this stuff with me.” I’m not sure if she voiced this next concern out loud but there was a concensus and worry that since I hadn’t paid for the locker, the establishmebt may confiscate my belongings.

We went back into the long room which now had different areas, shelves, racks full of books, videotapes and records. I was walking and searching fast, literally jumping from shelf to shelf looking for a large tan leather bag. I knew I would recognize it from far away but after much hopping around like a ninja on the shelves, we found nothing. I wasn’t panicking or anything. The reality that my stuff is now gone didn’t really phase me. I knew that it was probably safe with the authorities. All I would have to do is go to them to ask for it and likely pay a large fine. I was prepared to do so. For a moment a visual montage of locker doors and the coin inserting mechanism of the lockers flashed before my eyes. I realized then that THAT was how I could’ve paid for the lockers. I didn’t realize it then, when I first put my things in.

I actually woke up from the dream at this point and took a few moments to remember. Then quickly drifted back in and chained the dream. No lucidity though, just continued with the flow.

I felt slightly stupid. The coin inserting mechanism obviously said how much they cost: “$4 for 2hr”. Relatively cheap compared to the fine which I was expecting to be $800. I figured I would tell the authorities the truth, that I figured there was a price but it wasn’t clear to me at the time where the coin mechanism was when I went up to a locker so I just used it and walked away. I can only hope the fine isn’t too big.

I said to the girl, “Let’s just go and we’ll come back for my stuff later.” She said, “If that’s what you want.”

We arrived at the concert ground, just outside the entrance. There were lots of people milling about and you can see just past the entrance to the tent that it was packed inside. Outside, amongst the people there was a gap, in the middle the members of Halestorm were chilling out, taking a break. The girl exclaimed, “Ooh! There’s” She said a name of one of the male bandmembers. I don’t even know if it was true. I considered asking her if she wanted to run up to the band and just scream like prepubescent girls but decided against it. It would be silly fun but I wasn’t really up for it.

We got past the entrance. The bouncer stopped us for a few seconds and waved a couple of other people in. Then he waved us in. When we got in, we followed some others which took us upstairs, across a bridge, etc. The building had a lot of rooms and hallways divided by aluminum frames with glass windows. A lot of the frames also had no glass. With each turn I felt like we were getting further from the concert, our destination. I knew we were getting lost.

Finally the hallway ended and we arrived at the edge of the building. The whole wall had been blasted through. It looked over a beautiful otherworldly scene. It was as if the building sat on the edge of a cliff, overlooking a bay below with blueish-purple water. I had a quick telescopic view of the ultra blue waves in the bay crashing against the shores. The mountainside in the distance looked normal, black and brown but before us and on the slopes down in front of us, it was just mounds of course white something shimmering in the light. The sun was setting in deep shades of oranges, reds and pinks. It was alien and beautiful.

I knelt down in front of the white mounds in front of us and dug my arms into the white stuff, elbows deep. It was coarse white salt. I looked at the girl who had dug her arms in too. We were both excited and ecstatic, in awe of the landscape before us. After some moments, we came to our senses and decided to find our way back to the concert again. We turned back the way we came and there was a man, a janitor, custodian type draggin something heavy behind him. It was partly invisible, the part that actually touched the ground. When we passed him I got a better look. It was a gental L-shaped glass thing, rimmed on one side by brushed aluminum. The glass must’ve been 2 inches thick but clearer than any glass could be. I can’t imagine what it was for but it was heavy.

Then we were back downstairs, in the tent where the concert was. The band was back on stage playing and it was dark with flashing lights. I lead the way, weaving through the crowds looking for openings and opportunites to get closer. I’d look behind me every so often to check on the girl, if she was keeping up. Then I found a spot to settle in about 40 feet from the stage. It looked like a good spot to enjoy the rest of the concert. I reached my right arm back to find the girl’s hand, to pull her in behind me.

Instead, when I pulled and looked back, it was a man. Nobody I knew but in the dream I was receptive. He was slightly taller than me, well built, head shaved close. He felt like he was a boyfriend in the dream, not someone I’m totally in love with but just enjoying each other, revelling still in the beginnings of connection. He came up close behind me and we just swayed and enjoyed the concert with our bodies close, warm. It felt really good.

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There may have been a first part to the dream but most likely I forgot about it. I wasn’t even sure I would dream, went to bed at 1am and definitely did not sleep until after 3:45am, only had just under 3 hours sleep…

Dreams 04.30.12
I was walking out into the back lobby of a big multiplex theatre, just watched a movie. My movie going companion just went to the washroom and I was waiting around. Looking about me, I see other people milling about and I see an older lady (a mother) with her pre-teen son. The lady looked very tired and I just realized that it was like 2 or 3am. I had just treated my mom (I suppose she was my movie companion) to a movie for her birthday and I said to myself to set her birthdate in the calendar for the future so I could do something special again for her in the future.

I wake up in the dream. It is morning about 3 or 4 years in the future. The alarm had told me it’s my mom’s birthday and I need to wake up early. I go to the hall to the washroom, it’s my old house in R Hill. The washroom was a bit of a mess. My point of view was whatever I saw in the mirror. Someone just walked through the main bathroom’s door. This person who I can’t put a name to but supposedly lived in the house just stopped but turned and walked out. I thought to myself, guess it’s time to go into “sexy cleaning robot” mode.

Then another me, a newer model of robot me walked in the door. She was startled to see the old robot me. We sized each other up briefly. I had a quick flash of memory of the anime Saber Marionette and the main android character Lime. Future robot me seemed a bit twitchy as she started her cleaning protocol so I decided I should improve mine and do better than her.

Dreams 03.05.12

Last night’s dream involved some recurring events. Although I don’t remember the first time the events played out but in the dream, I knew they had happened before or at least in a similar fashion.

I was me outside my body and had to protect the real me from not getting “hurt” while being true to myself and being able to enjoy life. Most of all I was trying to keep real me from one man. I did run into this man a couple times in the dream and saw his face but he didn’t seem to correlate to anyone in real life. He was Chinese or at least Asian though.

Most of the dream I was following real me as she was out and about town. There was some weird architecture and a lot of super slopey walkways. At one point she met 2 guys who were just sitting, chilling, having some beers with a couple other people. They were just outside in a side alley on some folding chairs. They seemed to have sexual intentions with her but we sat with them anyways. We had some laughs and some drinks.

The guy I had to keep real me from showed up a couple times. Once along the corridors of a mall. Another time I think we were just out along the street. Protector me intercepted and physically pushed him away as he approached before real me had a chance to even see him. Seemed like he was stalking real me.

Anyways, I wish I remembered more details from the dream but I woke up in the middle of the night again to let the dog out. This dream happened during the first sleep cycle and since I didn’t get a chance to stay in bed and not move, much of the details just faded away.

I’m very happy about this dream though, having two me’s in it at once. Although we didn’t directly interact I think I am getting closer to my goal of conversing with myself.

I want the next one to be me as real me, speaking to protector me, or the other variations of me.

Progress! This is exciting!

On a side note, I read a report yesterday titled Perceived Support for Promotion-Focused and Prevention-Focused Goals from Northwestern University:

http://www.wcas.northwestern.edu/psych/Documents/Molden_Goal%20Support.pdf#page=3

It’s basically a study on the measure of satisfaction in unmarried and married couples in correlation to the amount of perceived support they receive from their partners. At the top of page 3, it listed the items/questions used to measure perceived goal support and it really kind of opened my eyes to some of the reasons why I feel the way I do about marriage right now.

For both promotion and prevention-focused goals, I would have to answer No to all of it. A little disconcerting that’s for sure. I think I will go through our responses from the questionaire on “compatibility” and possible “issues” from our marriage prep course again just to get more perspective.

I think I am also getting very close to answering the question I posed myself in the post More Reflections from Feb 25. Just need to organize my thoughts a bit more to write it down…