Like Smoke

Since moving on the 11th, it’s been busy at work and home. I only started dreaming again about a week ago. There have been 3 to 4 nights of pretty vivid and interesting dreams but as soon as I wake, what happened in them is on the tip of my tongue. Then as soon as I try to remember and describe them in my head, they slip away like trying to grasp smoke or water with my bare hands. I have reminders set up with the Fabulous app to remind myself a few times a day to do reality checks, which I believe started me dreaming again – at least that helped. I just need to actually remember. Maybe I should try to remember before I move, right after my eyes open. Must keep trying…


Adult Supervision

I’ve been sick and have not been able to remember my dreams for a couple nights. I’m not sure how accurate my memory of last night’s bits are because I think I barely slept last night but I must’ve because I am functioning.

Dreams 10.05.17

There was lots before this part of the dream that I cannot recall. I was in a house about to head out somewhere with friends and we were all getting ready. There was probably about six of us. I guess I must be in my teens in the dream because as I was about to step out the door to check on another friend who was readying the car, an adult, tall, had the energy of a man and a mother charged in to inspect the premises to make sure I wasn’t laying about where I was going or what I was doing.

This person went upstairs to the bedroom and the washroom to “check for boys”. I remember panicking a little because one of the friends in the house was male, he was upstairs. I walked ahead of the adult and saw out of the corner of my eye that he and a girl friend were in the bathroom. I signalled them with my eyes and by the time the adult was up the stairs, it just looked like the girl friend was shutting the washroom door about to sit down on the toilet to do her business, which deterred or satisfied the adult to know no boys were in there.

Then I remember stomping out of the house following this adult down winding grey alleyways that really looked more like cavern tunnels. They were relatively clean, but there were little fires lit along the way. I knew that my friends, even the guys, were following behind stealthily.

Down Below: Destination Unknown

Dreams 10.02.17

I cannot remember my destination. I know it was at the foot of the mountain or at least down. What was there I did not know. All I knew is that to make my way there, I had to pass through obstacles. There was a hallway with 4 airlocks that was submerged in water about 6-7 feet deep and the slide down steep and slippery moss covered rock faces.

The airlocks had yellow caution stripes so that they could be seen clearly from the approach about 50 yards away. It was within a tunnel structure built right into the mountain. The entrance to the tunnel was not flooded. I turned and walked down a couple stairs towards the airlocks where I instinctively knew they would be. From the entrance of the hallway I was met with the surprising view of a tunnel submerged in violently sloshing water. The airlocks themselves were open but there was also a clear film installed into each one, cut as I could see them flapping the the water. I saw no lights but somehow the tunnel was dimly lit.

The water was cold but not too much so. My body adjusted to the temperature quickly. At least that part wasn’t too much of a struggle. It was bearable enough for me to brave it. I swam, paddled, clutched and shimmied my way through each airlock’s film, swallowing mouthfuls of water several times before making it all the way through. Upon threading myself through one of the openings I remember thinking to myself, well this is hard but not terrible, I can do this.

Later I was sliding down the slope of the mountain, descending. Sometimes at speeds where I moved as if my feet were walking me down the slope. Other times it was like I was skating or skiing down. The rock face was hard and jaggedy. It was a dark granite color except for the moss covered parts. It felt like if I tripped and fell on the rock face I would simply shatter like glass or all my bones would be broken. Then I would lay there dead in the open, waiting for scavenger birds to pick at my body.

The sky was blue and the sun shone on the mountain’s peaks. The valley below where I was headed was dark in comparison though nothing down there seemed to give me fear. I remember distinctively thinking, how am I sliding down? Am I wearing shoes because it sure feels like I am just wearing thick socks. How am I not tumbling to my death? What is down there?

These were two challenges amongst many others. Either the other obstacles didn’t happen in the dream at all or the two happened in the context of more. I just can’t remember.

Hipsties Trailerfest

Dreams 09.30.17

At one point I remember going into our bathroom to get ready by taking a shower. The bathroom was laid out similar to our current one but it was tenovated, tiled with a darker tile and the toilet was mounted sideways so it faced the opposite wall than the bathtub wall which I remember noting as very strange.

I took a lukewarm bath, slowly and relaxed, gently splashing water over my privates and shaving them with a new kind of razor that had no handle. My fingers slipped right into the area behind the blades and I remember thinking to myself how great the design was that allowed me to feel safer.

When I got out of the bathroom I realized I wasn’t actually in our condo. We were in a trailer and we were camped out on fields and rolling hills amongst other trailers and modern day hippies and hipsters. There were about 100 people spread out sparsely across all that was before me, with maybe a handful of other trailers at various distances.

I found myself a spot on the side of the hill and laid down to enjoy the beautiful day. The sky was blue with fluffy clouds, much like how it really is today and the grass was green just starting to turn yellow in some areas. The weather was borderline cool but just warm enough if you faced the sun.

Out of nowhere in the distance I saw a shiny midnight blue painted bus trailer charge up, leaping over the next hill. Somehow all of us on the lawns knew who was driving it even though the windows were tinted and we could not see. It was Giovanni Ribisi, the actor. Even though there were people in the path of the vehicle, nobody panicked. The entire group cheered and scrambled out of the way. The energy of this stunt swept us all along with it.

The bus literally leaped up into the air, over hill, started turning midairn landed sideways and back so that by the time it landed it was sliding sidewayd and backwards until it stopped on the only patch of asphalt closeby where there were food stalls and barbeques. When it landed everyone cheered even louder and some people started getting up from the lawns to rub towards the bus.

That’s all I remember but I feel like there was more. Not a lot more, just more.


In a take uMbut bathroom looked similar but

Get Me Out of Here

There is a lot that I do not remember. It’s been a rough couple nights of sleeping. Our elder dog keeps waking up and asking me to pick her up to put her back into bed. I am also fighting off a throat infection so whenever I wake up from deep sleep it takes me some time to fall asleep again. I am feeling run down and maybe even a little unhinged.

Dreams 09.29.17

I was in a hotel family restaurant with a large group of fellow students(?). I just know that we were all a part of the same group. We either travelled to this place for a competition or we travelled for a school trip or perhaps it was just a large group of my own friends and peripheral “friends” from highschool.

I remember everyone else getting their order of dessert after the gigantic breakfasts we pigged out on. Everyone else might’ve ordered ice cream and I ordered Jello because I really craved it but it never came. People may have made fun of me for ordering it then not getting it. I remember being annoyed and humiliated.

In anger I got up to leave the restaurant but was stuck in the maze of chairs and booths. The floor was carpeted with a very thick, plush and ornate pattern with twisting flowers and vines. It was one of those restaurants that exited right into a mall and everytime I got stuck in a corner it was all the more frustrating because I could see outside, away from this place, so close but so far, always just out of reach.

Home towns are overrated

Dreams 09.28.17

About an hour after bed, we woke up and realized our older dog had a poop and a pee on the carpet. We cleaned it up so there were no stains. Naturally, in my dream I “woke” up to find the spots stained and mulled over what to do with it.

Aside from that poopy highlight in the dream, I believe I was arriving from out of town. It felt like I was visiting home or returning to my home town to live. I made plans to visit my bestie and I remember walking by and seeing the suburban houses at night with my bf. Funny thing was the neighborhood looked nothing like my actual old neighborhood. The light and shadows from the street lamps looked awkward. The houses felt too tidy, too new but looked old, like I was on a studio backlot where a fake suburb has been built. I never did see my bestie and I remember being a little sad but also okay with it because it felt too strange in this place that was supposed to be home.

First, Observe and Listen

I started listening to I Am the Word, a channeled text by Paul Selig. Duncan Trussell had him on a live podcast and it really sparked my interest. I’ve always been curious about different religions and how there may be truth at their intersections.

Although I did choose to baptize as Catholic when I was about 9 or 10, I was never a dedicated student of any one faith. My knowledge of various religious ideas is basically on the surface and I never understood the need for complex rules that religions seem to enforce. That alone seemed like a big red flag that these rules must certainly be manmade for the purpose of maintaining divisions and tribes.

I came across basic gnostic teachings on a dark corner of the internet in my teens and they stuck with me. A lot of it still seems like a fairy tale, just of a different sort, but the most important points I took from it was that “God”, the energy that created all is with us, in us, forever providing for us, teaching us – bathing us in love. We only need to open up and feel, then know. We would then know ourselves, our fellow people and the world.

Why am I trying to write down my dreams again? Because I always started this in an attempt to increase my level of consciousness, have fun lucid dreaming while learning about what is real and not real, to meet the wisdom within myself, to ascend perhaps to the astral plane, to witness and experience the mysterious, to discover what I am supposed to do. Yet I always gave up and lost sight of what I intended.

So here is a reboot, this time inspired by Paul Selig and the Guides, indirectly by Duncan Trussell.

I’m still not sure if this is “real” or rather I am simply afraid to admit that it might be. I have also taken comfort in another channeled text online before and I see no contradictions in what those “angels” and Paul’s guides have said about death, judgement, the purpose of the Guides, our purpose in life, which is to learn the lessons our true selves have chosen for us in this life.

Considering that I have in some way always seeked the glorious unknown from within, via dreams or astral travel, I figured it must be a type of calling. Even if I have “failed” and given up time and again, likely due to my own blocks, that is all the more reason to continue and try again because that must be one of the lessons, right? Don’t give up, keep trying because we have all the support we need from “above”, carrying us and nurturing us.

First steps back on the path: observe, remember and report.

Dreams 09.27.17

I really don’t remember much from last night. I was constantly coming back to my “dream kitchen” space. It’s not so much my dream but before going to bed, I was trying to use an IKEA planner tool to visualize what we might do with our future kitchen. Pretty sure my dogs Juju and Ginger were there too. My bf may also have been there I just don’t remember why I kept walking into another room to talk to him.