I had several dreams again this week and maybe the last as well where I did not write them down immediately. I thought I’d write down this morning’s but it’s actually just slipped away from me.

This dream scene happened this past Saturday. I had to not sleep in and wake up to let a contractor in to quote for some work around our place. I woke up multiple times that night expecting it to be morning, afraid to miss my alarm and each dream I returned to after waking I had the same feeling of dread and that was a direct result of this scene.

Dreams 07.08.17

Not sure what I was looking down at. It may have been stacks of magazines or upside down bowls on a table. I was in a place where the tables were wood and the furniture was modern but the environment felt familiar. I lifted a magazine/bowl to uncover hundreds if not thousands of cockroaches creeping and crawling underneath. As soon as they saw the light of day, they scurried as one mass with crawly edges down the table, across the floor, disappearing into shadows. I followed and overturned other objects in the room, terrified to find them again yet equally horrified that they had disappeared without a trace. I was worried they would return to give me a fright when I was least ready.


Late for a Farm-dez-Vous

Dreams 11.15.12
I had an appointment at 7pm with a guy who owns a farm in the middle of nowhere. I think the official purpose of the appointment was for me to interview him but the secret purpose was really that I would seduce him and he would fuck me all over his dirty farm. I was very excited about the idea.

However, I had also made plans before the appointment to go shopping at an ikea type store, just browsing furniture. At the store, a few of us walked into an area where the demo space was setup like a big, maybe 15×15 one room apartment. There were wooden shelves and wardrobe built right into the walls. It was a darker wood with an obvious grain pattern. On the “cubby” shelves near the bed there were white plastic containers that were divided into 3 compartments places for books. When I saw them, I pointed them out to my friend, who is moving into the city soon irl. He looked at them and started to imagine his new place out loud. He took a couple of steps back as he did this and being a tall guy, he had basically put his ass into another female coworker’s face. She was sitting on the bed talking on the phone.

I started to laugh out loud, cackling. My boss who was on a ladder, checking out the higher shelves, asked what I was laughing at. I told him but he looked like he didn’t really understand why I found it so funny. The friend who was moving soon said to him, she just enjoys humorous situations fully and freely. That wasn’t exactly what he said but it was something to that effect.

Then I was in a clothing store with my mother, browsing but I wasn’t directly beside her. I was flipping through the hangers of clothes, checking out all the stuff on sale. A lot of the clothes had a retro feel feel to it with color blocked designs or geographic patterns.

Then I realized the time was getting close to my appointment with the farmer. I began to get anxious. I knew there was a group of school kids visiting the farm on a field trip that would be leaving soon. In my head I was making up stories and reasons why I shouldn’t go there on time. For example, the field trip is running late, if I showed up early it would be disruptive. Or, if I left now my mother would be all alone, let’s just wait until she is done with this store.

Eventually 8pm came around and I was just making my way to the farm then. I remember walking up towards the barn at dusk, up the dirt path from the main road, just nervous and anxious as hell because I was so late. I wondered if the farmer has lost all interest in me.

Salvaging Spilled Chili

It seems like I am trouble recalling dreams that make sense this week. Today’s recall is another jumble.

Also, either the Sleep Cycle app isn’t working properly or I am actually having these crazy sleep cycles. And if I am actualy having these crazy cycles, it might explain the weird dreams and poor recalls.

Dreams 07.13.12
There was something about me remembering a recent workout where I was doing two reps of heavy lifting.

I was pouring out a can of chili over rice. The chili was special, it looked more like this curry I made a couple nights ago in real life. It had pineapples in it. I looove pineapples. I am usually very neat about pouring, scooping out food except this time I spilled a couple glops on in front and behind the bowl. I started to pick it up with my right hand fingers and just putting the spilled food in my mouth.

Then it’s like I was watching a movie but living it. The movie was…don’t laugh, another sequel to American Pie. Everyone was still in their early twenties and they all moved into the same house – a huge house. I watched the Tara Reid character talking to another girl about the Alyssa Hannigan character. She was saying that their friend has been missing a lot of classes at college and something seemed to be up. They needed to figure out what was happening with their friend and consult with the guys but until the plan was made, the friend (Alyssa) must not know. I remember having a slight feeling of betrayal, as if I was Alyssa, eavesdropping on these too.

The feeling faded quickly and I am watching a scene of 3 of the male character unpacking in a room, sitting on a mattress, joking around. The phone rings and the Sean Michael Scott character picks up the phone in full Stifler mode. The girls say something to him, he responded in the character’s sarcastic way and the other two listened, concerned but not knowing what was going on.

Another nugget of memory is just a feeling of being in the hallway of a gigantic empty house. I felt anxious but also wanted to explore.

Starting A Lovely Trip

Dreams 06.28.12

There were 2 parts to my dream. I remember the last part pretty well but the first part, I even tried to lie there just to remember it, twice. But as soon as I got up it was gone. Anyways, here’s the second part:

I was on a bus with 3 other coworkers: AG, LR and LS. We were all going out of town for some work event or function. The bus was modern and it reminded me of the airport shuttles in HK. I sat behind LR, who is usually quite shy and quiet. Then AG who was sitting further back with LS came up to sit beside me and we chatted for a bit. It was nothing special but it was friendly.

The bus dropped us off in this outdoor market place. We went to a small restaurant and sat at their one table outside, basically in an alleyway. It was actually a really nice day and a pleasant despite the seemingly shabby surroundings. It had a certain localized, ethnic charm to it. That’s the only way I could describe it. Then we all felt a few drops of water falling on our heads. We looked up and it wasn’t raining so we figured it was dripping from something overhanging out the windows above.

LR has warmed up very much at this point in the trip. She excitedly digs through her purse and brings out a flimsy looking umbrella that looked like it was made of an enormous banana leaf. I don’t know if banana leaf is the right thing, just something tropical. The texture was waxy, very green and still sort of transluscent. When she “tossed” it up, like one would a blanket or table cloth to spread out this “umbrella” (yes the action makes no sense with the thing that it is) it opened up and it’s uneven edges was just enough to cover our heads. Actually it barely covered LS but at least it covered our table. We all giggled and laughed. It was like have a private little green canopy to enjoy our meal under, away from the elements of the alley and it gave a nice bit of shade from the sun.

Afterwards we were at the airport. We all lined up at separate ticket counters to get checked in. When I arrived at my line I looked around and couldn’t see any of the others. I had a mild panic wondering if I was late. Then I saw AG and further down LR so I calmed.

When I walked through the door towards the gate/customs area, it’s like we instantly teleported to the destination city. There was no flash as one might expect from a sci-fi movie. It was simply that I walked through one door here, walked out another door there and some time had passed. It was just a common place thing where on one side you knew the time and place, and on the otherwise both of those variables were simply different. LS walked up to me and asked me how my “flight” was, it looked like she had passed over earlier than us and had been waiting for some time.

I said it was fine just that waiting in line was a bit of a chore because the people in front of me were slow. They weren’t really. It’s just one of those things people complain about the airport or train station when there is nothing else to say. Then LS tells me they screwed up with her luggage as well as with AG’s. It was merely gone, lost, no explanation. So AG was at a counter sorting all that out so we should go over to meet him.

Dreams 03.19.12

Things are a little bit more normal at home. The pressure to merely fix the situation and make a decision has been temporarily removed. At this point, I will just stand by and enjoy the time we have and make the best of it.

Afterwards, do I stay? No idea but at least the quality time we try to spend together is real, quality time where I don’t feel forced or manipulated.

I still need to keep dreaming. With the craziness this past week I have barely dreamt. Well I did, just have not remembered much. I need to get back into the habit of remembering things and work on conversing with my True Self to know what I want and why I am really at an impasse.

Last night’s dream:
My mom, her singing/dancing teacher and I were walking around in a mall, heading for one particular store. For some reason, we were looking at fancy dresses and accesories. Her teacher went inside one place and mom and I kept right on. We went into a place that was a jewelry/flower shop. Going in, I remember having this feeling of anxiety about not wanting to do this wedding shit again. It wasn’t clear if we were looking for something for me though. I just had that feeling.

We walked out the store and kept walking in the mall. Then we remembered that we walked right past where her teacher went and we were supposed to meet him. We turned around to go find him.

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