I twisted and turned quite often last night. Felt very crowded. I woke up in the night a few times with my husband’s head right next to mine, almost touching my shoulder and it made me really uncomfortable. I tried to think of things to distract me and it resulted in the only dream I remember from last night.
I was walking hand in hand with the tall drink to a back alley where cars from the nearby residential low rise apartments were parked. We were either just returning from a date or about to go on one. I looked up at him and he kissed me, and then again and again, small but intentional pecks at each other with smiles and googly eyes in between.
And then it was too much. I stopped myself and leaned in for a big hug then I stepped back. He looked at me sheepishly and he looked different than he does in real life, a mix of features of the real person and a celebrity I used to love in my teens. I stumbled, reaching for words but nothing would come out. He started, “You’ll be divorced in what, like 6 months, right?” I responded, pained to tell him and it hurt to acknowledge it to myself, “I don’t know what my timelines are…”
Then he came close to hug me and I suddenly felt the fear that husband would look out a window from the apartments above. I pushed the tall drink back against the wall, out of sight and held him. I looked at him in the eye and without saying a word explained that I lived in fear of his tantrums, that I wanted to be free to accept all possibilities that I wanted but am trapped but that i was so happy just being here right now. The tall drink was mildly offended that I wanted him out of sight but when he saw what was in my eyes, he just held me without saying a word.
There was a confrontation with my husband while we were at a hotel. The hotel suite was huge! Anyway, I remember going up to him, telling him he is full of shit then snatching the phone from his ear. I was about to just rip right into the person on the other line but instead just waited to hear if she would say anything incriminating. I knew who it was. I could hear her breathing, ready to yell back at me but also knowing it was inappropriate so she held her tongue. I can’t remember if I ended up yelling at the person.
Later I am walking back to my hotel suite, to my side of the building. One of my friends/lackeys was walking up to me with a worried look on his face, holding a long print out that trailed behind him as he approached me. I took one look at it and was charged up, angry but glad. I took the paper, now trailing behind me, and stormed down to the hotel front desk. I plopped down the giant itemized room charge bill and yelled at them to remove all charges but the first item. I think the first item was just something normal, like something I knew I used/ordered. I angrily explained to the clerk that I was not here at the time of the second charge onwards to incur these charges to the hotel room. The clerk tried to say that nevertheless they had records of the room using those services. I said, “Listen honey! These were used by my husband and that bitch of his,” (I don’t know if I said mistress but that was the context of the dream even though not so in real life.) “So you better cancel them from my room because I sure as hell won’t be paying for them!” In the end, the hotel gave. I felt angry still but vindicated in some way.
After that, this might be the same or another dream. I was hanging out with a bunch of guys who were my friends but also they were into wrestling or some sort of martial arts. I just knew that from their bantering and physiques. We were at some carnival stall (red tent with colorful decorative flags) where they had a giant scale to measure your weight, one of those guess your weight games. I believe we took turns going on the scale. I was last. Just before or after going on the scale. I dropped down on the floor and did a bunch of push-ups. I was struggling to get through them but my friends cheered me on, encouraging me.
I am at a mall with my mother and maybe my sister. We enter a deparment store from the mall entrance and look to the left where there were racks and shelves of leather purses. My mom was looking for her orange purse inside the store. What doesn’t make sense is she wasn’t looking to buy a brand new purse. She was looking for HER purse, with her stuff in it. I think my sistser and I, including the store employees knew that sounded a bit crazy. The employees actually thought she was a little senile and when they saw us approach the purse section, turned off the lights there.
I just wanted to help my mom and was going to assist her search even though I knew it would be fruitless. So when I saw the lights go off, I got a little beligerent and started questioning the employees telling them we need to go look. They told me we are more than welcome to look at the shelves but there was nothing they could do about the lights. So we headed over to the section anyways.
Then I remember that a family friend, a big tall dude was supposed to get driven to the airport. He had been living in our front bedroom for a while and it was finally his time to go. I remember running up to him like a little girl and giving him a big bear hug. When I hugged him actually, it was Malcolm Ingram. I don’t know him at all IRL but when I hugged him, that’s who it was. I didn’t want Malcolm to leave. He has been such good company and comforting to have around, to have a friend. He was so much bigger than me that he was walking to the basement and I was still holding on to him. I remember seeing small toys sprawled out on the ground from the corner of my eyes and the basement had wood panelling. Someone else was in the basement, when they saw me holding Malcolm they just kind of laughed at me.
I also remember driving around in a parking garage from the basement level up to the ground level seeing sunlight coming through. The lanes were narrow and I was driving a wide car. A few times I had to make 2, sometimes 3 point turns but eventually I made it up and out of the garage.
Woke up in a day bed by a window. I think I was Just coming back up from a p. cube trip. Something I have never experienced but been considering lately in real life. I don’t remember much after that but there was probably more.
I was in my old house getting ready in the morning. I took out and set the makeup I’d use on my old white vanity table then went to get dressed in the washroom. When I come back to the room and it had turned into a classroom but vanity was still in the corner. I looked around but there were no seats near the vanity so I took a seat in the next island of tables anyway.
The teacher started the lesson. She was going through slides on a projector and she kept going too fast. Myself and a few other students requested her to slow down but the bitch just kept on going, with a smirk on her face! In fact, she deliberately quickened her pace.
I was so mad after the class was over I was storming through the halls n locker-rooms searching for something. I think I was searching for something to destroy. In a narrow hall, 2 male classmates behind were snickering about something. They were not laughing at me specifically but just making fun in general. I considered backing kicking them in the face. Instead I just turned around and charged my way past them.
Down another hallway, I see the teacher’s slides just sitting there on a sitting ledge. As I approach them, in my head thinking of good ways to destroy them, the teacher’s pet cunt blocks my way. She smugly starts to set up a perimeter around the slides with mini cones and tape. The ridiculousness really upset me and I try to go forward but her thugs stopped me.
I was really pissed off so I just turn to leave. Fuming, I climb a square pillar and stand on its ledge hugging the column. I could see the escalator go by, with many people going up it, looking up to find me in an awkward position. I was hoping that I could step off the ledge and just get carried away by it.
Someone pulls my leg and tried to coerce me to get down. Apparently I was making a scene and it’s not good for the department store business.