A Not-So-Cleansing Flood

Yesterday’s dream recall was a bust.  Not sure why because I had a full night’s sleep.  Maybe it was because I was determined to wake up to go to the gym. I wasn’t rushed or anything but maybe my mind was occupied.

This morning is a bit better but I literally had to claw at my memories to get it back. Like I woke up know a tiny vague nugget and I had to lie there thinking, “There was more, remember remember remember!” Anyway, here’s what I have. The order is probably a bit jumbled.

Dreams 03-31-13

I was the house that I grew up in. Everyone (meaning my mom, sister, some friends and possibly husband) were all leaving to go somewhere – towards the city I think. I followed them out the door to the end of the driveway, watching them go. The sky was a vibrant blue that faded into the distance with just a few large fluffy clouds. It looked idyllic but  I had a bad feeling.

Then I was in the basement but it didn’t look like the basement of the house I grew up in. It was the basement to a much smaller house. The stairs were plain white, leading down to a small area with bare concrete floor. There were a couple of closed doors. As I walked down the stairs I felt like the whole house shook, or maybe I just lost my balance. It felt like I was thrown to one side, much like when a ship hitting a wave causes you to lose your balance. I could see the pathetic decorations (tiny cheaply framed prints) falling off the walls. When I got to the bottom of the stairs, I found myself standing in waist high water and it still seemed to be coming in more.  I stood there hands up, holding onto the wood beams under the stairs for support.  Then I saw myself from a third person perspective.  I had tears rolling down my eyes. The world was ending and everyone who had left earlier is probably gone. At this point I couldn’t even go out to check.

Later I was in one of the upstairs bedroom, looking out the window to check if the water had receded. It had mostly but it looked like a ghost town outside. I could not see a single a sign of life. It just looked like the streets had been swept clean by the flood and there was some debris gathered around the sewers. In the distance, over the neighbourhood, I could see the city looming on the horizon. I thought to myself that it was time to venture out but did I really want to go? Was I ready? I decided I should take a shower and think on it. That’s step one to getting myself ready.

When I came out of the shower, I was naked with a towel drying my hair. I opened the door and while standing in the hallway saw my reflection on 3 mirrors on all the other bedroom doors. Except one, which was wide open.  I went up to it and found another full length mirror on it and closed it. Then I went back to the bathroom and walked back out several times, observing the effect of my naked reflection times four. I liked what I saw, I was proud. Especially since I was alone in the house, probably in this whole neighbourhood, I kind of stood there admiring my female form. By the way this was no longer my old house. This is now a fictional house I shared with 3 other roommates.

Then I heard the front door and voices coming from downstairs and I dove back into the bathroom, afraid of getting caught naked. It sounded like two of my roommates returning from getting groceries. But after I had put all my clothes back on, I found the house empty once again and I wondered if I imagined it. Am I really the only one here?

Then I was in the city. I remember walking along a glass covered walkway and there were many people there, busy, going about their day. The glass walkway looked out over the river and I saw a walkway with big concrete slabs right by the water. It was inviting and I wanted to go down there. I did just that and when I stood there, a familiar voice approached me from my left but it wasn’t a welcomed person. I cannot remember who it was now but basically this person told me certain people that I thought were gone had survived and were all gathered at this one place. She offered to take me there. I could not refuse so I let her lead the way.

When I got there, I saw a bunch of people that I was glad had survived. My husband was there too but when I saw him my heart sank. I didn’t know how much time had passed since the flood but I instantly felt trapped again. Am I expected now by all these people who had survived to continue this charade? I literally felt as if the modern decor in this place was caving in around me. All I could think at that moment, looking at these people was how do I escape?

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Bike Parts at the Flea Market

Dreams 12.12.12
I don’t remember all of it. I know I was with two friends who were a couple. There may have been another person, possibly husband. The couple brought us to a market / flea market. We seemed to be in a foreign country.

I remember going up to the girlfriend and remarking that this place was amazing. There were so many things to see. I was loving the experience. Then after some walking and bumping into the crowds, I realize with the fourth person that we lost the couple. We then tried to search for them and cover all the grounds in the market.

Finally we came upon a narrow back alley. It was “blocked’ by a long square tube of a rack, filled with miscellaneous bicycle parts. Looking closer, I realized this was an actual shop. The parts were laid out on the rack in a way that people could walk through the tunnel of parts and find little bits and pieces in every nook and cranny of the store.

We decided to go through the tunnel to see if our friends were there. Lo and behold, they were! They were excitedly grabbing and examining various parts in the shop, yelling out, asking the owner for prices. When I was close to one of them, I exclaimed, “I KNEW we would fine you here!” They barely noticed us and continued with their rummaging.

There’s another part of the dream I’m not quite remembering. I am just getting the feeling of it. It may have involved a laptop and then someone saying “I told you so” to me.

Game Convention and A Model Suite

Dreams 11.04.12
I was travellig with my mother, tagging along on her business travels. We stayed at the same hotel, same room. There wasn’t much happening in town during the day so I just slept a lot and surfed the net.

Then I found out there was a gaming convention happening not too far from the hotel. Just then, she returned to our hotel room from work. She saw me all excited, getting ready to go out so she asked where I was going. When I told her, she invited herself along as well. I felt annoyed but no way to say no so I thought to myself that there would be cutesy character stuff that would really interest her. If anything she could buy little trinkets and keychains.

We arrived at the convention hall which was filled with moving throngs of people. It wasn’t a large convention and it wasn’t very “nice”. The displays and vendor booths had lots of good merchandise though so it all looked worthwhile. We went into a large booth selling anime and character plushies and stickers and spent a good bit of time there. My eyes were drawn to many of the video game displays and longed to run off to play all the demos. I didn’t get a chance to though. My mother kept talking to vendors about stuff as if she wanted to purchase but ended up moving to the next booth.

Attached to the same convention hall was another exhibit, I wandered on my own into a condo showroom, which also had a model suite setup right on the convention hall. A bit of time had passed and I realized that I had purchased a condo they were selling and I was mock living at the model suite, making the bed, washing my hands, looking through the empty fridge.

I was biding my time, wishing I did not have to go back to the hotel room, waiting until the purchased condo was built, imagining life on my own.

A Concert Mission

I did NOT become lucid or aware or even remember anything during the long sleep last night. But my morning 8-9:30am nap resulted in a successful dream-chaining and a very detailed account. I guess that’s something to be happy about.

I downloaded Sleep Cycle for my iPod Touch. My friend told me it wouldn’t work because I sleep on a memory foam bed with the dog and another person but it seemed to register things well and I’d say fairly accurately from last night. Maybe I can work out my REM cycles and setup some timed audio cues while I sleep in the future.

Dreams 07.06.12
I am inside a large resort (kind of like a ski lodge) with some friends, not very close. They were all sitting in the cafeteria area having a laugh. I felt isolated as I walked past them and nobody noticed but in truth I was withdrawing anyway.

I carried a bag of clothes and other personal items down the stairs and went inside a long room with high ceilings. It was a big room where all the walls were covered with those small pay lockers you get at the pool. I shoved my things into one without paying and went outside.

The outside of the resort was a large concrete yard with a sloped-up grass lawn at the edge. At the top of the slope were mesh fences. If you looked at this “resort” from an aerial view it would probably look more like a compound or a prison. I went up to the fence and started throwing things onto it. It felt like I was doing some kind of work. For whom? I don’t know.

On the other side of the fence, a huge concert event was happening and Halestorm was playing one of their awesome songs. I started belting it out along with the music. Then I noticed someone else close by was doing it too. I looked down the slope to my right and saw another girl sitting on the lawn belting it out. She was just lying their on a towel. There was a guy next to her sleeping with something over his face.

She was younger than me, maybe in her late teens or early twenties. I would say that I feel like if my teen years had been slightly different, she’s who I would’ve been in that age. In reality I became more like that in my mid twenties after university – individual and free-spirited. She looked up at me in acknowledgment. I turned back towards the fence to do my “work”, still singing loudly, now in unison with the girl. I observed the tents and field where the concert was happening wishing I was there. Then the girl asked me, “So are we gonna go or what?”

I stopped working, turned around and started walking back towards the building and without looking at her, said, “Hells yes!” I knew she got up at that point to follow me. Then I said, “If you don’t mind I’m just gonna find the locker I didn’t pay for and put my tools in there so we could go. I don’t want to be carrying this stuff with me.” I’m not sure if she voiced this next concern out loud but there was a concensus and worry that since I hadn’t paid for the locker, the establishmebt may confiscate my belongings.

We went back into the long room which now had different areas, shelves, racks full of books, videotapes and records. I was walking and searching fast, literally jumping from shelf to shelf looking for a large tan leather bag. I knew I would recognize it from far away but after much hopping around like a ninja on the shelves, we found nothing. I wasn’t panicking or anything. The reality that my stuff is now gone didn’t really phase me. I knew that it was probably safe with the authorities. All I would have to do is go to them to ask for it and likely pay a large fine. I was prepared to do so. For a moment a visual montage of locker doors and the coin inserting mechanism of the lockers flashed before my eyes. I realized then that THAT was how I could’ve paid for the lockers. I didn’t realize it then, when I first put my things in.

I actually woke up from the dream at this point and took a few moments to remember. Then quickly drifted back in and chained the dream. No lucidity though, just continued with the flow.

I felt slightly stupid. The coin inserting mechanism obviously said how much they cost: “$4 for 2hr”. Relatively cheap compared to the fine which I was expecting to be $800. I figured I would tell the authorities the truth, that I figured there was a price but it wasn’t clear to me at the time where the coin mechanism was when I went up to a locker so I just used it and walked away. I can only hope the fine isn’t too big.

I said to the girl, “Let’s just go and we’ll come back for my stuff later.” She said, “If that’s what you want.”

We arrived at the concert ground, just outside the entrance. There were lots of people milling about and you can see just past the entrance to the tent that it was packed inside. Outside, amongst the people there was a gap, in the middle the members of Halestorm were chilling out, taking a break. The girl exclaimed, “Ooh! There’s” She said a name of one of the male bandmembers. I don’t even know if it was true. I considered asking her if she wanted to run up to the band and just scream like prepubescent girls but decided against it. It would be silly fun but I wasn’t really up for it.

We got past the entrance. The bouncer stopped us for a few seconds and waved a couple of other people in. Then he waved us in. When we got in, we followed some others which took us upstairs, across a bridge, etc. The building had a lot of rooms and hallways divided by aluminum frames with glass windows. A lot of the frames also had no glass. With each turn I felt like we were getting further from the concert, our destination. I knew we were getting lost.

Finally the hallway ended and we arrived at the edge of the building. The whole wall had been blasted through. It looked over a beautiful otherworldly scene. It was as if the building sat on the edge of a cliff, overlooking a bay below with blueish-purple water. I had a quick telescopic view of the ultra blue waves in the bay crashing against the shores. The mountainside in the distance looked normal, black and brown but before us and on the slopes down in front of us, it was just mounds of course white something shimmering in the light. The sun was setting in deep shades of oranges, reds and pinks. It was alien and beautiful.

I knelt down in front of the white mounds in front of us and dug my arms into the white stuff, elbows deep. It was coarse white salt. I looked at the girl who had dug her arms in too. We were both excited and ecstatic, in awe of the landscape before us. After some moments, we came to our senses and decided to find our way back to the concert again. We turned back the way we came and there was a man, a janitor, custodian type draggin something heavy behind him. It was partly invisible, the part that actually touched the ground. When we passed him I got a better look. It was a gental L-shaped glass thing, rimmed on one side by brushed aluminum. The glass must’ve been 2 inches thick but clearer than any glass could be. I can’t imagine what it was for but it was heavy.

Then we were back downstairs, in the tent where the concert was. The band was back on stage playing and it was dark with flashing lights. I lead the way, weaving through the crowds looking for openings and opportunites to get closer. I’d look behind me every so often to check on the girl, if she was keeping up. Then I found a spot to settle in about 40 feet from the stage. It looked like a good spot to enjoy the rest of the concert. I reached my right arm back to find the girl’s hand, to pull her in behind me.

Instead, when I pulled and looked back, it was a man. Nobody I knew but in the dream I was receptive. He was slightly taller than me, well built, head shaved close. He felt like he was a boyfriend in the dream, not someone I’m totally in love with but just enjoying each other, revelling still in the beginnings of connection. He came up close behind me and we just swayed and enjoyed the concert with our bodies close, warm. It felt really good.