Dreams 04.02.12

I was following a small group of men to the back area of an industrial area – the persistent hum of heaters, dirty dumpsters, black pools of filthy oily water all around us – you get the idea. We were looking for something, not sure what. I was wearing a short black skirt, a white sports bra and sneakers, strange attire for the company of strange goony men and back alleys.

I split off from the group with 2 other men. We found 2 large metal doors, slightly ajar. We looked at each other and decided to go in. I said optimistically, “Maybe this is it!”

We swung the doors open wider, it was dark inside because of the contrast in bright sunlight outside. We had to adjust our eyes. Once we were in, we saw that it was just a small, oddly shaped space, like an empty garbage room because it wasn’t big enough or shaped in a way that would be useful for anything else. The walls were white but smears of something, probably garbage were all over the walls.

Obviously it wasn’t what we were looking for so we walked to the other side of the room to the open doors there that lead further into the building. I was leading the way and thought, might as well keep walking to see if we can find what we came for.

I think there may have been more before or after what I remember in the dream but I have no certainty about this at all.

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Dreams 03.10.12 – W.I.L.D. part 2

I was so encouraged by the false awakening, the fact that the WILD technique actually worked, that I was determined to try again.  Forget leaving the house to go out and about!

I went back to try the WILD techniques again. It was much harder this time because I was excited and overly eager (if that is possible than before).

I ended up “waking” up in a bedroom, obviously not like the one in the real world. It was a queen bed, lots of blankets, kind of reminded me of the old bed in the master bedroom in the house I grew up.  Except this house was bigger.  The dog was sleeping with me here too and she jumped off the bed.  I thought she was disturbing me from focusing on lucidity.  At this point, I’m not really sure if I am awake or asleep. I did the hands reality check and my hands looked funny like they were blending into each other but I still wasn’t sure so I opened the door to let the dog out so I could be in peace.  I went back into bed and she had come running back somehow.  Turns out the room had 2 doors to 2 separate hallways.  I let her out again and closed both doors.

I went back to the bed to try again in this part of the “dream” and woke up in a completely different bed.  This time it was a dirty looking room, dark paint on the walls, chipped, creaky bed, etc. I roll out of it and there is another empty bed in there.  I check my hands again and once more they were blendy and penguin like.  I was becoming sure now that this was a dream.  There were footsteps coming down the hallway.  Someone “kicks” open the doors and 3 unsavoury looking men come in.  I can’t really remember what happened but they didn’t seem to want to do harm to me.  Again, in my always sexually charged mind, I think they just wanted to do something with me.  I didn’t think I was in the mood.  I just know in the end I had tied one of them down, shirtless, by the wrists and ankles.  The one that had punky stylings, a tattoo of some words across his chest.  He was strapped down to the bed by some belts or something.  I went up to him before leaving the room and told him I think I met him before, either he went home with my bestie ages ago at a club or at least made out with her.  Well, I couldn’t really remember.  The tall, burly and big guy was just observing in the corner of the room.  I just left the room.

I looked at my hands again I think, because I knew I was losing control of the dream so I really tried.  I tried to visualize a place, mould my dreamscape.  Ended up on the side of a road, kind of barren hill on one side, which had an opening to a big park or yard.  Again I checked my hands and confirmed another time they were being weird.  I think this time I really got confirmation that I knew I was dream.  I recall actually jumping up and down in my dream.  I also think I felt my real body inside my bed at that point responding to me jumping.  Fearing that I would wakeup, I calmed down a bit and walked towards the park.  There I saw these dog-like creatures doing tricks, walking backwards balancing on balls.  Their owners were cheering them on.  When I got closer they didn’t really seem to be dogs at all but they looked like fat shih tzus with puggy noses.

After that I was losing focus again and almost waking up.  The images and sounds were fading in and out.  I really wanted to stay in a lucid state inside the dream world longer.

I tried desperately to think about something that would keep me in the dream so I thought about my dear friend, the good feelings I have with him, the warmth, the mutual respect, connection, etc.  Just wishing I could see his face, feel his arms around me and just be able to stare into his eyes but everything kept slipping away.  I think something else had happened in the dream too but again in a way that wasn’t as vivid as people say lucid dreams are.  Everything was really slippery, control or memory wise.

Anyways, I guess I am happy because of the progress.  Surprised that it is not as vivid as described.  Maybe I don’t know what’s real or never thought “realness” meant anything in the real world because sometimes it feels as fleeting and dreamlike.  I need to either retain more control or at least remember to meet myself, or a guide in the dream.

More practice should do.  I’m not discouraged.

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