The Blue Room

Dreams 07.09.12

There were four of us: me, bff, ED and roommate. We just walked into a party, weaving through the crowd, walking hand in hand in a dank underground club. All walls were painted a deep blue like the color of roommate’s room. The place was packed and everyone were definitely crazy high on something. We wove around one group of people and just as I was passing them, a girl collapsed on the floor. I paused and looked back, wanting to help. ED was in front of me and he squeezed by my hand tugging at it. I looked at him and without saying a work he was telling me to just keep going. I hesitated and looked back again. Some people had crouched around her and she was just pushing herself off the ground. Seeing her awake, I felt relieved so moved on.

Then we walked into another room from the hallway, it’s still all blue. There was a small bar counter in the middle of the room. There were crows of people all around. We walked up to the bar. ED asked the bartender for a mixed drink. The bartender started to put ice and in drink, then got distracted and walked away to go get/fix something behind up. Then ED hurried behind the bar and started free pouring into his glass. I knew we were basically stealing and I shot him a panicked look. He didn’t seem to notice as he worked quickly, unscrewing a tonic water bottle with his other hand, almost spilling it. bff lent a hand and held the bottle down for him. The bartender was returning.  I looked back towards where he was. He passed under a TV mounted in the ceiling playing some show or movie that had Christopher Lloyd and Hayden Pannetiere. My eyes darted to the TV briefly and saw that it was some horror/slasher movie. I turned back towards the bar and gave my friends a look to alert them. They quickly tried to put everything back the way it was but ED dropped a bottle cap into anther bottle.

The bartender returned, back to his position behind the bar as if he’d never left at all and continued mixing a drink. I just turned away from the situation and looked at the ceiling mounted TV. I became engrossed in the action on TV. There was a lot of blood.  I just remember a scene where Hayden Pannetiere was all bloody, she was crouching then struggling to push herself up. There was a close-up of her face as she got up, she was looking upwards, at something. There was a shot of Christopher Lloyd watching her and whatever she was looking at. Then back to Hayden still watching this thing, not quite terrified at this thing but definitely stopped in her tracks as if she didn’t know whether to run or fight.


Refuge from Battle and Disaster

Dreams 07.02.12

I had a tiny nug of Mj before going to bed last night. I was fantasizing and my mind was all over. I told myself to remember my dreams or try to be lucid anyways knowing pretty much it wouldn’t work. Whatever it was fun. As I lay there trying to sleep with body relaxed, eyes closed I started to see swirling images behind my eyelids like during a WILD attempt. I was too excited and loose though, kept trying to wrestle with the images. I tried to conjure a face except it kept turning into a giant wrinkly eye.

Anyway I woke up a couple times during the long sleep. Here’s the last one, not too sure what happened in the first part of the dream though.

It was night. I was staying in a large cabin with about 15 other people and a girl who was either my sister in the dream or friend. Either way, she was someone I needed to protect. Everyone in the cabin had gone outside, we were watching a few men have an argument. it looked like the start of a fight. There was a thin layer of snow on the ground. The area was lit by bright stadium type lights in the distance, so bright that the sky only appeared black. It didn’t feel that cold but you could see everyone’s breath in the air.

The fight was starting to escalate and become more physical. The group around the fight kept shuffling around to get a better view. I turned to my protectee and said we should go inside.

Inside, I proceeded to walk back and forth throughout the wooden log cabin, packing thugs into a duffle bag. There were times when I could “see” myself pace back and forth as if from a camera and it’s like the cabin was the cabin on ship at sea. The camera angle seemed to be tilting back and forth. As I packed I kept shouting out to the protectee to see if he/she was packing. I never got a response but I kept yelling anyway. It felt like we were packing to leave this place forever.

As my camera pov tracked with me along the cabin, I could see outside, it had become day time. I saw glimpses of 4 burly armored men locked in a battle to the death with swords. In another “track” the window outside looked like fat moving blue water going over a waterfall, as if the cabin was a boat going over with the water. The final time I saw out the window, the water was calm and shimmering from a low hanging sun in the horizon. It was as if the cabin was floating on a freshly made lake. I saw barren trees with some new growth in the distance along the water’s edge and I had the distinct feeling that this area had just been flooded and wiped clean. Briefly I wondered if the remaining fighters who had bee outside were drowned.

Dreams 04.01.12

Dream 1:
I was leaving a tiny one room bachelor apartment, on the way somewhere with my mom. The walls were a vibrant blue-green (happier color than teal) with thick white trim around doors and floor. I wanted to wear these ivory mesh platform espadrilles trimmed with orange frills at the ankle but knew that I had to “work” where I was going and they would probably not be practical, or would hurt after a while. So I started to put on flats that were my mom’s.

She had already left, waiting for the elevator, literally waiting for me to slip shoes on to join her. I think I put on a pair of pink rubbery flats and she poked her head in and started yelling at me. Then I tried some flats that had blue carpet bag material, with little pink flowers and she yells at me for wearing those too. Then she said why don’t you wear your sister’s shoes? Over there!

I looked over at all the shoes on the floor, most were pretty flats or sexy heels. I couldn’t see what she was talking about. Then she said, under there! I looked again and saw a pair of old, frayed, black slip-on canvas (rockabilly style) oxfords with thick white rubber soles. They really didn’t look like they belonged to my sister. I don’t know why but I completely freaked out on her after that saying, “Really? These are what you want me to wear? They are so ugly, so un-feminine, so old and worn!” I was really yelling but I knew they would be comfortable for when I worked and walked everywhere that day but they definitely did not match my outfit.

Dream 2:
I was getting ready to veg and watch something on tv with roommate. It was a beautiful sunny afternoon. Sunlight was flooding through the windows. I sat on the side of couch facing our kitchen and as roommate stood up from putting a disc into the game consoles, I asked him, stuttering a bit at first, then straight to the point, “Do YOU think you have an addiction problem that needs to be fixed?”

Dream 3:
I was a PA on a production, but I was sitting by the sound cart. The scene took place in a wreck of a building with very tall ceilings. A group of people had gathered in it. They were all facing one direction as if in a church. Beyond them was just very bright. I don’t think it was a cult but it had a religious gathering feel to it.

Then they called “action” and it began. The group started to sing in unison, a song that sounded very folksy but hymn-like. When the take started, I flipped a switch on the sound cart to begin recording. The sound assistant next to me was keeping watch as well. I could see the levels on the indicator, little red LED lights flickering with the hymn. I thought we we were peaking too much at some points but was afraid to touch anything.

When the take was over, the sound assistant was unsure if it was a good take for sound. He seemed to think we didn’t really get it, that the levels were too low. There was a short discussion between the SA and 1st AD as the rest of the crew packed up to move to the next set. I was grabbing the pieces of the boom pole to set up for the next scene.

The next set took place in a theatre. There were no seats, just a bunch of steps that led down to the “stage”, which was not raised. Whatever area was at the bottom of the stairs WAS the stage. The sound cart was at the top of the steps, hidden away to the left side. The very fat sound recordist was already set up there, a boom in hand so it looked like mine was not needed.

Anyways, the scene had been lit and the ADs were bringing in about 10 extras. They were placed randomly along the steps and they were to stand, watching something happening on the stage below. I was twiddling my thumbs waiting and looking for an opportunity to do something when one of the ADs came to me and asked me to be an extra extra. I shrugged my shoulders and followed him to the 3rd level of steps.

Shortly after the scene started to play out. There was loud music playing and 2 male characters were on the stage, knuckles up, throwing wild punches at each other. The extras in the audience cheered on over the music. Although I should’ve bee standing in one spot pretending to cheer, I felt my vision move as if I the camera moving on a dolly, flowing behind the crowd, past their backs, slowly zooming down through their silhouettes to the main action of the fight.

Dreams 03.23.12

I know there was more before but this is all I can remember. Baby steps…

My boss boss, dear friend and I were hanging out at home in the living room. It was actually what it looks like now. Boss boss was on the far side, dear friend sat in the middle of the side facing tv. There was music playing and I was dancing, pacing around the kitchen table area while they were prepping something. I think they were prepping weed for a bong or pipe although I didn’t actually see it. It had that familiar ritualistic feel to it. By ritualistic, I don’t mean it was silent and solemn. There was chatting and laughing but it is still part of THAT ritual.

Finally I approached the couch, sat on the far right, turned to face them, leaned back on the armrest and put my feet up on dear friend’s lap. I think he felt uncomfortable that I did that in front of boss boss.

Cut through the stuff I can’t quite remember. My old friend Zann from highschool and I were either skipping class or had just come out of a class. We were walking through a highschool and I think she was my girlfriend. Not in a highly sexual catholic lesbian schoolgirl way but more of a teenage girlfriends who are too close who have feelings for each other that have not been explored or discussed fully kind of way.

Anyway, we roamed about the school’s hallways. Several times I glanced at open classroom doors that we passed, searching for a familiar face. Whose? I do not know. Then we came to the end of the hall, which led to staircases that went up to somewhere unknown or into the basement, somewhere we knew would be unpleasant.

At this point I think Zann knew I was looking for someone, perhaps even who, even though I did not. We decided to go into the basement to look for this someone. After a few turns down narrow and grey corridors we arrived at a place that is typical of how Hell or Hades is depicted in movies and cartoons.

The ground was hard and cracked as far as the eye can see. It was dark everywhere although we could see about 250 feet or so before us clearly. The horizon in the distance just looked black, red and hazy, like something dangerous was out there. From where we stood, there was a slight slope down, leading to black iron gates. We knew we had to pass the gates to get to where we need in order to find this someone, so we ran towards the gate to have a look.

The bottom of the gates actually did not touch the ground. There was a large enough gap for us to roll under, had there not been barbed wire strung all across underneath the gate. We looked through the barbed wire in despair but could see a figure in the distance. It was a large, hulking human-like monster, sitting on a rock with his face down as if in thought.

As soon as we looked at him, he turned and saw us. He sprang to his feet and charged towards the gate at full speed. Just before he reached the gate he jumped high into the air, over the gates and landed on our side. Fortunately he landed on his side and his blacksmith’s hammer (although it was small because I could comfortably hold it in my small hands) fell to the floor and rolled towards me. I picked it up.

When I looked up Zann was already on top of him, trying to pin him to the ground. He was about twice the size of one of us. I rushed over and tried multiple times to knock him out with the hammer by swinging at the back of his head. I made contact everytime but each time the blow landed it just felt like a hard thud, nowhere near knock out power. A few times I just sat there on top of this monster of a man, perplexed and wondering. Do I just hit him again? How can I knock him down in a different way? All this while my friend was beside me, struggling to keep his legs and body still.

Finally Zann snatched the hammer from my hands and showed me that at the connection where handle met head, there was an ornamental part that had a really sharp tip. I took the hammer back and jammed the pointed end right into the monster’s left jugular. He was dead instantly, with a blacksmith’s hammer against his face. Surprisingly, there wasn’t much blood.

Then we were in the “desired” place. I don’t remember how we went from the hellish basement to here. “Here” was actually the top floor of the school where there was a large irregularly shaped pool that seemed to be everywhere on the floor. There was a tube slide that looked like it just wrapped around the entire floor but I couldn’t tell where it started. Here we ran into Bilbo (not the Hobbit, but my friend from highschool that bestie and I codenamed Bilbo). He was there with kids but I didn’t see them. This pool was super busy. There were kids all around. I’m not sure if Zann was still with me at this point but I remember the feeling that this place was not at all like I expected and felt disappointment.

Then I remember turning to leave and the exit was decorated in such a way that it reminded me of a carnival tent. So I felt a little excited, bit scared but also a little sad because this place, while fun for kids, was definitely no carnival.

Okay I know that doesn’t make much sense but that’s what I felt in the dream.

Dreams 03.15.12

Something serious has come to light within the household. For now, our stuff is on hold.

Last night we both stayed up quite a bit to talk to roommate but I also had extra early meeting to go to. I was functional most of the day but when I came home, I didn’t need to cook for anybody else. I plopped onto bed while texting my bestie. Bad choice – because after we were done, I passed right out instead of exercising, for 3 hours. This is the dream I remember from the nap.

The 4 from the house were going to dinner with other people at some chinese restaurant, we had a table of 10 booked. I was skipping a dinner invitation from my mom so I was feeling a bit bad. Except we chose the same restaurant where they were and the attendant thought we were part of the same party and tried to seat us at their table. It was awkward. We said hi to my mom but I could tell that she forgave me anyway. Then the 4 of us just decided to leave and go home.

At the house, me and dear friend were sitting beside each other as I watched him play some video game. We were high and/or drunk. There was a lot of sexual tension throughout almost to breaking point. We kept looking at each other and not doing anything but obviously holding back and it was so difficult not to act. Roommate was elsewhere in the house with other people because I could hear loud noises. Hubby was out doing something.

We turned off the game and stood up and the tension was about to break. We were almost about to hold each other, about to kiss. Hubby comes home, sees us standing real close awkwardly. He looked somewhat suspicious but said nothing and went upstairs to change.

A few of us then went out the front door of the house for a cigarette (split level townhouse type, sunken entrance with L shape stairs to street level). As soon the door opens, we could hear screaming, people running. Me and the Double A’s (she was preggers again) walked up halfway up the steps. We were situated right in the middle of a chinese mall. There was a shootout happening. Some dude was behind a car to the right of us, shooting from behind open car door at someone else towards the shops on the left.

Wife A was hiding and ducking near top of the stairs with Husband A but she was ducking up and down yelling at the gunmen to stop. Husband A had to tell her to stop being crazy and escorted her back downstairs into the house. For some reason, I was trying to run towards the shop. I think someone or something was there that I had to save and get out. There was another person now at the top of the stairs, not sure who. I was trying to make a break for it towards the stores and the shots were getting close to me. The man at the stairs grabbed me to shelter me with his body/legs/thighs. I just remember seeing one final image of the gunman and car, framed through the man’s legs bent in L-shape from the way he had one leg up on the steps.

Then I woke up because I heard noises of husband coming home.

Dreams 03.13.12

Last night’s dreams were all rolled into one. The talks before bedtime were pretty intense. I didn’t even think I could sleep that I even attempted some WILD techniques but I eventually just drifted to sleep from exhaustion.

The first part that I remember. Me and him, we were on vacation somewhere warm. We must’ve been inside the resort. There was a naturally landscaped lagoon area but there were warm water jets underneath too. The water was a beautiful emerald blue. He was at the top of a little man made rock formation that was sculpted to be a water slide with a long slight decline base. He would have to slide down turn the sharp corner, go along the base then splash into the water. There was a coach there telling him what to do.

I was in the water with a camera, supposed to take a picture of him entering the water. I kept setting up to take a head on shot as he rounded the corner to approach the decline. The coach was yelling at me to move to a different angle to get a better shot of the actual splash when it happens. So I moved and waded around in the water while waiting. The water was super warm and comforting but everytime I came near the water jets, they were scalding hot so I moved away from them. Finally the coach yelled, “Here he comes!” and I could hear him hollering as he came down the slide. I saw him come down the decline and snapped just before he entered. But the instant picture review showed that I had missed the splash. He asked if I got it and I had to say no.

Onto another scene, we’re in bed at home. This was after the talk we just had in bed. Somehow this “news” had already gotten to my mom. She stormed into the room, took the blankets off us and just started screaming and yelling at me. I ran into the bathroom and locked myself in. She kept yelling outside wiggling the door knob demanding I open the door. Then I hear my sister approach then of course she heard the news too. She seemed to be more sympathetic but she started yelling too, half at me, half at my mom. My brother-in-law just kinda wandered and stayed quiet. I got out of the bathroom as they kept following me around, yelling.

I can’t really remember if they were yelling because they were upset of the “decision” that we came to. But everyone was upset and I felt like shit none the less but not knowing where to turn. Then my mom went out.

I was back in the bathroom and my highschool sweetheart and his brother were there chilling with me as I calmed down. For some reason I was packing homemade kettle chips from a plate into tupperware. The brother kept walking by and grabbing chips off the plate, crunching them loudly.

Then my sister was there too, not yelling anymore. We could hear my mom talking to someone outside through the bathroom window. She was talking about splitting up assets, moving money around, etc. I was curious to hear it at first but then walked away from the window. My sister walked closer for a better listen and the brother or my highschool sweetheart turned on the radio so we couldn’t hear it, but we could still.

Dreams 03.08.12

Dream 1:
My mom was throwing a party at her classy apartment. Dear friend was my bf in the dream, he was also invited. I ended up schmoozing w my mom’s friends and didn’t get the chance to spend much time with him but I really wanted to. I felt bad but he mingled with guests well and we would just look at each other across the room with knowing smiles.

Dream 2:
First part of the dream I can’t seem to recall.

I was walking through a street full of ratty children mostly boys playing. The alleyway was so packed with kids it was body against body, moving against the tide. Finally found and made way to the entrance to a subway station. I didn’t really know how to get to where I was going but I was travelling with another girl (who I think was going to same place I was). I was going somewhere important anyways and following her seemed like it would be the right direction.

At arrival, turns out I was going “home” to take back all my stuff so I can leave and be with dear friend.

I went in through the basement entrance. There were a couple of ratty kids in the playing with toys as weapons, playing, hiding behind furniture. I picked up a couple long sticks (kinda like misshapen kendo swords) as weapons. I played with the kids with the sticks for a bit before I went upstairs.

At the middle landing at the stairs, a woman who I expected to run into but hoped to avoid was waiting for me. I stopped her with the long sticks before she could approach me. Then I jumped and wrestled her to the floor, straddled her chest and gave her punches to the face. When I stopped, she looked up at me with the black eyes I gave her but I could feel that she wasn’t fighting back with full strength. Then I just left her there on the floor. I grabbed whatever I came to get, something small (didn’t even see it).

I left the house and walked out quickly and tried to be inconspicuous, walked down a slope and there were two guys behind me talking, walking the same direction. They were talking about some guy saying that he had insulted his gf because she wouldn’t do something or whatever and the guy with the gf described the bad experience as it was like the bad taste of licking brown nuts. I whipped around and said jokingly but defensively, how would he know?! The guy behind laughed in surprise.

We came up against a mid-height mesh fence and I hopped over it sooo effortlessly, then started to jog up along the path. I remember being very proud for hopping over so easily.

That is all.

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