I’m Only Happy When It Rains

Dreams 10.29.12
What I remember about last night’s dream is that there were variations of a theme where a storm is coming, I am in the midst of it to see it hit and something about the storm turns out to be surprising and wondrous and I have a moment where I get lost in the beauty of it. I only remember pieces of some parts of the dream though.

I am walking through an old city with a group of people like a walking tour group. To be honest, the city looked like how Israel looks in movies. Or the city where the Disney cartoon Aladdin took place. The point is that the houses were sandy colored buildings with squarish holes in the walls for windows. (Sorry if this is totally ignorant of me.) The streets were narrow, some places covered in stone and the whole city was built on various hills so there were inclines and downhill areas on the path we walked along. The leader of the group mentioned that we should head back to a safe place because the storm was on its way. I paused to look out a “window” punched out of a wall that overlooked the city. In the distance there was a mountain so the city was at the foot of these hills.

I could see the dark storm clouds moving really quickly, rolling into the mountain, casting a shadow over the city below, drenching it in rain. Big but sparse droplets had already started falling where I stood. It was almost where I was.

Just beyond the clouds on the left, the sun was setting. It gave the edges of the storm a deep reddish orange glow. It also made the edges of the wet city seem like they were overlaid in gold. I took this in and thought about how amazing it looked. Just then the storm poured buckets of rain on me but I had a smile on my face, one that no one else could see or understand as I alone peered out this window.

In another part of the dream, I sat in the rear passenger seat of an SUV. I was on a road trip with 4 other people. The landscape outside the car was like many scenes that I think come from the movie Twister – vast expansive, moving grey skies and flat green fields. We were driving along the empty highways, very aware that storm clouds hung over us, gathering momentum.

At one point, we stopped at a three-way intersection because we could see a wall of what looked like mist (we knew it was rain) moving from the left of where we were to the right, so coming directly our way. It looked dense. We decided to just stop driving and sit through until it passed so we waited for about 10 seconds and just braced ourselves. It came so fast, it looked like there was a lot of force in the wind. We didn’t expect any windows to break but certainly thought the rain hitting the car would sound like loud thuds in the metal.

As the wall approached the howling sounds of the wind became terrifying. Everyone including me had our heads down, looking at the floor. When the wall of rain did “hit” the car, it was like it just caressed the vehicle and brushed right by us. The wind and sound of rain was still sounded really loud. I looked up and saw dense white streaks (the rain) in front of us.

However, when I looked to the right, down the road, there was a glow of white sunlight behind all the storm clouds and the rain droplets were back lit. I suddenly had this slow motion perspective of the water droplets that had just blown past us. They were like little strings of round micro-pearls, snaked into random configurations. I saw another cluster pass by just at the front of the car and followed it with my eyes. The cluster wiggled around and seemed to be “talking” to me, waving hello and goodbye.

I looked around the car at my colleagues/friends, whoever they were, still hunched over trying to hide from the storm. I looked back out through the front window assessing just how bad the wind and rain was. Then I decided it was actually pretty bad so I wasn’t about to walk around outside, nor should we continue the drive. However, it was too interesting, amazing and beautiful to miss. So I kept looking to the right towards the sunlight and the back lit rain, happy that I had a chance to see it.

Also at one point my dad was in the dream, don’t remember which part, telling me to just take care and be careful.

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TouchCar Racing

Dream 05.18.12

I was walking with roommate to the car to catch a ride. We get into sports car and I expected him to drive at first but I ended up driving instead. The car was controlled by an ipod touch type of device, which used the gyro sensor and touch gestures to turn the actual vehicle. From inside the car, it looked like we were on a really crazy racetrack and I missed most of the turns skidding of the track at all the sharp turns. We finally arrived at our destination after a harrowing few laps around the track.

Then I was in a big mall with tall ceilings, big skylights, etc. It’s always like that in my dreams. I was with a bunch of coworkers going somewhere, walking. We walked through an empty closed foodcourt.

Then we were outside and it started drizzling. Boss n boss’ boss walked ahead of us. They opened a big black golf umbrella. I was behind them walking with the tall blond publisher AW and the shorter web producer now turned contractor KR. I offered them my little folding umbrella because my jacket had a hood. They politely refused so I opened it up for them. KR was jumping to get under the umbrella radius so I handed it off to her. The blonde said it’s not actually that bad as I pulled up the hood. Then the droplets of rain became bigger.

In another part or another dream, I was at some a really big party. Not much that I can remember from it. At one point I may have been on the floor, still inebriated, struggling to sit or get up because I was so weak. In another part of the party dream, I walked by my sister smoking on the front porch. She doesn’t smoke IRL.

A New House and Playing Hooky

Dream 05.09.12
I was living in a house with husband and roommate in the same arrangement we have now except we were in a different house. It was more modern in design and the spaces within were “lofty”.

Anyway the order of all this could be jumbled. I followed a female friend and her bf who had come by the house to the mall. He apparently had stuff to buy. After we had already walked about for a while, he led us into a sports clothing store and headed straight to the counter. I was just browsing around and saw a pair of slouchy pink thigh high boots with a low heel. I picked it up and contemplated how it would go with this pink Roxy tank I bought while in Florida. With a pair of denim cut-off shorts, it would look hot.

I set the boots back down on the shelf and I overheard some girl scoffing at me for even considering such a buy. I was mildly irked but whatever. Then I went up to the counter to see what the bf was buying and it was some small electronic thing. My reaction to finding out was definitely one of disapproval. I felt like we walked around forever and THIS was what we really came for? Anyways, I walked out of the store and didn’t wait for him to finish his transaction.

Back at the house: I just got home. Then roommate and husband just returned from some all-nighter party or mission. Roommate looked like shit. I never saw husband’s face in the dream by the way, he was just around. Anyways, they were supposed to go out again and I went into the garage, which had tall ceilings. It had rained earlier that day and water was dripping through the garage roof. I had put a large notebook sized piece of electronic equipment (some computer peripheral card) into a garbage bag for protection and husband or roommate was supposed to get it on their own to return/exchange. When I went to get it in the garage for them, there was water pooled on the plastic bag. I was annoyed that they never picked it up earlier thankful that I had the foresight to put it in a bag. I gave it to them and they were off.

Then for much of the dream, I was skipping work because I was partly sick and mostly just did not want to go. It was already 1pm in the afternoon and I still hadn’t called in to let anyone know. I felt bad and irresponsible but kept delaying the call because I just didn’t even want to talk to anyone there or have anything to do with work. Then it was 3pm, and still more time passes. I don’t know if I ever ended up calling.

I don’t remember much more. I think while I was skipping work, there were a few friends hanging out with me.

I was really tired last night and fell asleep fully dressed, no shower or brushing my teeth at 10pm. I woke up a bit a few times, thought maybe I would go clean myself up then crawl back into bed but always decided against it. When I actually woke up this morning, I felt rested but not enough but I was already singing Garbage’s You Look So Fine in my head.

I never really know the lyrics to songs but I listened to the Version 2.0 album so many times in my youth, I’m sure the lyrics were in my head. Here they are:

“You Look So Fine”

You look so fine

I want to break your heart
And give you mine
You’re taking me over

It’s so insane
You’ve got me tethered and chained
I hear your name
And I’m falling over

I’m not like all the other girls
I can’t take it like the other girls
I won’t share it like the other girls
That you used to know

You look so fine

Knocked down
Cried out
Been down just to find out
I’m through
Bleeding for you

I’m open wide
I want to take you home
We’ll waste some time
You’re the only one for me

You look so fine
I’m like the desert tonight
Leave her behind
If you want to show me

I’m not like all the other girls
I won’t take it like the other girls
I won’t fake it like the other girls
That you used to know

You’re taking me over
Over and over
I’m falling over
Over and over

You’re taking me over
Drown in me one more time
Hide inside me tonight
Do what you want to do
Just pretend happy end
Let me know let it show

Ending with letting go

Let’s pretend, happy end