Wild Imaginings

Dream 12.28.12
I get a little sexually graphic in my description today – be warned.

As I continue to refrain from sex in the real world, my dreams have definitely become more sexual in nature. Even though I don’t feel frustrated irl, in my dreams, it often becomes my goal: the search of someone, a place, an act, etc.

Last night’s dream, I was in a restaurant, with friends perhaps. I was sitting there darting my eyes around at everyone and everything in the room, imagining myself giving blowjobs to every man everywhere. I was specifically imagining in minute detail, the sensations of putting my lips around the head of a penis and feeling the smooth, spongy but stiff flesh inside the walls of my mouth. Yes I do enjoy that quite a bit irl but in the dream I was savouring the thought, reminiscing and obsessing over the memories of such sensations.

Then for whatever reason, we had to leave the restaurant through the “back” way. So we went behind this wooden slatted enclosure, which was the way downstairs to the washrooms. But behind the enclosure there were also a bunch more private tables. As we ran down the stairs towards the washrooms and backdoor, I wondered why anyone wanted to sit in more private tables that were situated right beside the washroom.

A Lot of Wooden Furniture

Dreams 12.19.12
I think this dream started off as sort of a fantasy. Although I’m not sure why I started fantasizing just before my under-an-hour nap, so maybe it just happened as I was drifting into sleep like the other dream a couple days ago.

I was in one wing of a mansion with someone who was nagging me so I wanted to get away from them. I stepped into another wing which was much darker. It had a few steps going lower then I went behind dark iron doors into a small octagonal room. It had some furniture in the middle, couple of long wooden couches that faced each other on a red stained bamboo rug. On the left was a door which led out to a little balcony. Sun light was shining through onto the floor. Beside this door was a side table with some ornaments. A painting with strong turquoise colored themes hung above.

On the opposite side of the room, there was a step up, which led to an old style chinese study. A man stood on this step, leaning on the wooden couch speaking to another person sitting on the opposite couch with his back facing the doorway that led to the balcony. I went in there pretending not to interrupt their conversation, pretending to be the maid. A duster appeared in my hand and I went to dust the side table.

They were startled to see me but when I started to dust, they hesitantly continued their conversation in hushed tones, expecting me to leave the room soon. The man standing was describing some kind of sexual encounter to the other man. I was getting very turned on eavesdropping on their conversation. When I “finished” with the side table, instead of leaving the room, I went to sit beside the man on the couch, a couple feet away from him and looked at the standing man with an expectant expression as if to say, “Please, do continue with your story.”

The man had paused when I sat down but after digesting my expression, he continued with his story. Then without going into too much detail, I remember that in the dream, I felt my various body parts responding in arousal. There was some subversive brushing by of body parts in an effort to stimulate myself further. Then my desire could no longer be contained and I just got up, walked up to the standing man and made an obvious move on him while the sitting man watched. I’m not sure how far things went after that.

Later in the dream, I was crawling around on my real bedroom floor, naked. I had either fallen or rolled out of bed to hide my nakedness because roommate had come into the room to speak to husband. I remember being relieved to be interrupted from whatever we were doing that left me naked. I don’t think it was sex although something sexually tinged (if that makes any sense).

The room was dark and grey all over with just a bit of sunlight shining through the closed blinds. I looked around on the floor searching for broken pieces of grey acetate, trying to sweep them into a pile with my hands so I could push them under my desk or just pick them up off the floor. I almost found all the pieces but kept thinking I was missing more.

There was another part where I went down the stairs but it’s been half a day since I had this dream now so I can’t remember what happened or why. It was still within our real house. Again, everything was grey even though the stairs and hallways had lots of sunlight coming through the big window at the top of the stairs.

To Catch a Sex Demon

Dreams 11.30.12
This was a strange one…I’m not sure how much of it I “filled in” during recall.

I was in old timey feudal times China. I was all armored up, leading a charge up an octagonal tower with green singles that was about 8 stories tall. I had a handful of soldiers with me. They ran up before me.

We were there to arrest someone known for capturing and raping virgin girls. When we got to the top floor, the rapist was dressed in rich looking clothing, styled like Hanfu from the Tang period, all in dark pink. When we charged in, he was canoodling on a platform bed with 3 girls all in various stages of dress in flowing silk robes. They all seemed to be willing participants. When the girls saw the soldiers, they screamed and ran off.

The “rapist” seemed confused but still merry. He waved his arms after the girls when they ran, rolling around drunk on his platform bed, decorated with hanging curtains from the ceiling. His cheeks were rosy and his eyes were half closed. I stood over him watching. In my role of enforcer/judicator, he just looked like a rich, gay, asshole and I wanted to slap him around, tie him up and torture him. I watched him for a bit unsure what to do. He wasn’t doing anything illegal in that particular moment.

Then he sat up abruptly, apparently the drunkiness wore off. I jumped back down onto the floor. He grabbed a maroon coloured square pillow beside him and spun-threw it in my direction. I dodged out of the way. Where the cushion landed on the floor, demons appeared and began to howl and growl. They were a dark brown color, with little flesh on their bones. Their skin was overstretched across their skeletal frames, it looked like wet leather. They had horrible, distorted faces. After their fit of howling and revelling in being summoned, they turned to me and eyed me as if I was their next meal. They did not come at me right away though. They waited patiently for their master’s orders.

As soon as they appeared in the room, I could sense their energy to be a bad one. It was predatorial and violently coercive. I knew then that the “rapist” was not the one actually raping the virgins. It was he, a higher level sex demon who only seduced the young girls first, feeding on their desire. Then he summoned these creatures to take them by force, violently, ravaging them so they could feed on the violence and the action of “taking”.

I don’t know what happened to me after that because I think I woke up to the alarm.

One Nighter

10.09.12
I only remember one part of the previous night’s dream and forgot the more important “lesson-y”, insightful part. I was awkwardly making out and groping one of df’s coworkers that I used to see a couple times a week when we all hung out for a smoke. He’s a nice guy but I remember being mildly disgusted with myself for doing this because from what I knew of him as a person, I really didn’t like him enough for this. As we were blindly necking, we were backing up into a bedroom that belonged to neither of us. TV cliche-like, we fall down onto the bed about to get it on for a one night stand.

10.10.12
All I know is that there was something important in the dream but damn I forgot it all. I want more sleep. Need it! I am running a half-marathon (first time!) this Sunday and I need to stay healthy…

Drunkenly Waiting and Seduction Under Pressure of Zombie Attack

Dreams 06.15.12

I was at someone’s wedding, waiting with other friends and relatives in a ballroom with
I was way under dressed. There were many cushioned benches in the ballroom, laid out so that 2 faced each other and then 2 more in another row. There were 4 rows in total on one side of the ballroom, another 4 on the other side. The door opened and parted the benches in the middle.

We all sat around, waiting for preparations to be done. Preparations for what part of the wedding? I had no idea. We all talked, had drinks, etc. and I was getting progressively more drunk. I also noticed that compared to the other guests I was significantly under-dressed. I felt a little bad showing up in poor condition for the occasion but I was drunk so really didn’t care that much.

I must have been making my rounds in conversations because I remember at one point I was in the back row facing the back of the room. Another time I was sitting in one of the middle rows, facing the door and middle aisle. There was now a circle of chairs laid out in the middle area. A bunch of guests, a bridesmaid and I believe the bride had all taken seats there. It was like a support group setting. I didn’t know what they were talking about so I waved to the bridesmaid, who was our Best Man’s girlfriend in real life. She waved back with a smile and turned back to the group. I may be making this up but I am pretty sour someone in the circle was sobbing like a baby, it may have been the bride. The wedding never actually happened in the dream.

In another part of the dream, I was taking shelter in a house from zombies. The house was being used by a small group as a commune/zombie sanctuary. Part of the house (it was more of a mansion) had been compromised so certain hallways were walled off. We basically lived in one specific wing of the house.

I feel like I had been with the group for a short while but long enough to have free run of the place, yet I was still the “new girl”. I went to visit an old friend’s room. This old friend Richard, I have not talked to or seen since grade 4 or grade 5. I think he used to have a crush on me. In my dream, it was an adult version of him, obviously a completely fabricated image. His outer appearance was neat. His hair was almost like a bowl cut and he had big intelligent eyes. He was also shy.

When I went in his room, he seemed glad that I came for a visit. He kind of just let me roam around his room without saying anything. I walked slowly from desk to wall to shelf. It was messy but not on the floor. There were mishmash of toys, clothes, stationary, plastic and metal parts. I stopped when I saw one particular toy. It’s an old Transformer toy, it turns into a casette which can then fit into a Soundwave Transformer. It was actually in its cassette mode. My highschool boyfriend had one of these. In my dream I thought someone else I knew also had one. I made some comment that was like “Boys will never be without their toys.”

Then I remember having thoughts of seducing Richard even though I didn’t particularly find him attractive but I was bored and we were holed up, hiding from zombies. What more was I looking for? Whatever time would pass from the seduction and possible sex would be time well spent.

A Wake for the Unborn and An Unsuccessful Tryst

Dreams 06.02.12

It’s been a few hours since I woke  and some of the dream has already faded.  For the past couple days, the weather changed from hot and humid to cool and windy and I must’ve caught a mild bug. My body has been lazy and weak. I laid in bed this morning for about 2 hours fighting in my head to get out of it.  Anyway here goes…

I am at a gathering at my highschool bf’s house. There were a group of friends all together, we were all old (as in current age). We all sat at 2 tables of 8 each. It was some special occasion for the gathering but I did not know what. Then one of our friends looks at me and indicates that it was time to present our gift to my ex. Four of us stood up, they approached this thing, a glass case that could be opened. Inside there were various pieces of memorabilia of… I can’t exactly say what the items were but in my dream, I recognized that the glass and some pieces were my old things. Some were from back in the day when we still dated, some were just my old junk. I felt bad that we had made this weird gift to be presented to him. Why were we doing this? Then it suddenly dawned on me. The purpose of the gathering was a wake for his baby.  (He does not yet have babies IRL.) I was horrified at what we were about to give him.

Then I remember riding on a school bus with a bunch of other people that I wasn’t too familiar with but we were all going on a long road trip to participate in an activity. My phone battery just died.  I looked against the wall of the bus and saw wires and cables. I followed them and found them plugged and charging something. One plug was a micro USB, which was exactly what I needed for my blackberry. I looked around and asked loudly if anyone minded that I used the charger. A girl replied that she wasn’t the owner but it probably wasn’t a problem. So I plugged in anyway though I was a bit anxious.

Then I was in a small room with tile floor with my highschool ex. We were making out in this large closet size of a room, rolling around on the floor, giggling. There were towels and clothes all over the places so I felt like it was a laundry room but there were no machines in there.  I lay there on the floor and he got up and started putting up silver ducting tape across the door opening so that if anyone should open the door he would hear the rip and metallic crinkle – weird logic… Anyways, I was thinking I hope he is careful and doesn’t cut up his hands smoothing that tape down. This is an experience I had in real life. After he made his taping preparations, he came back on top of me and continued with our session. Just before he was about to put himself in me, we both hesitated because something was wrong. Then there was a knock on the door, followed by loud questioning from his mother.

We went outside and sat facing each other on chairs in the kitchen, hunched over. No one was none the wiser to what we had just been up to. His mom served us some kind of desert soup with sweet almond milk and sesame seeds  in a cup and I asked if this was his wife’s recipe. He looked a little annoyed with me and said, “Don’t mention her name now.”  I shut up and drank the soup, wondering where his Japanese wife went. Strangely I felt very little guilt.

 

Sugar daddy drops me off

Dream 04.14.12

I was at a shoe sale with a guy I was seeing and a female relative. She isn’t someone real but her presence was a mix between my sister and my bestie – someone who wants me to be cautious, will watch over me but won’t be too judgemental. I think the guy was being a sugar daddy and paying for all the shoes I chose.

After the sale, we were in his chauffeured car, which was going to take him to work and us to training. We were athletes of some sort and he was a higher-up in that athletic organization. My relative was in the left rear passenger seat. The guy was in the middle and I was on the right.

I was beside him leaning on him and we were “talking” with our eyes somehow. We were getting closer and in my comfort I was slouching on the seat, sliding further and further down. I looked up at his face and he looked down, our eyes never leaving each other. The sunlight was strong outside, it silhouetted his face and cast shadows on it so it wasn’t clear. He wasn’t recognizable as anyone I know in real life. From what I could make out, he had dark curly hair, at least wavy. Anyway, the aura of this person felt like Kevin Pollak. How? He was intelligent, charming but not outstandingly good looking, gentle and emotional, confident and powerful. He was someone who could easily use these resources to manipulate but did not.

Anyway, us locking eyes in that position was a beautiful and intense moment. I reached my right hand from his chest up to his cheek. I pulled/he lowered himself down to kiss me. I get shivers just remembering this part of the dream again. After the kiss, he whispered while smiling, “What’s up with this coupledom?”

I wasn’t “put off” by the statement, more like I was processing how to respond. I climbed up from my slouched position, sat on the edge of his knees, facing him. I looked him in the eyes and hesitantly said, “I can…slow down, pull back…see each other less…” He smiled like I said something silly. His hands were around my waist feeling the small of my back, reassuring me (it felt so good!). He said right into me, to my silly soul, “No no sexy.” We stared into each other’s eyes like this for a while, letting the tension build, just wanting to jump each other right there. Then suddenly the car stopped, we had arrived at our destination. I quickly got off his lap and he either zipped up or checked his fly.

He opened the door with one hand and I kind of rolled out the door intentionally, some stuff fell out with me. The car pulled forward so I could see what rolled out. I picked up a pair of my new shoes, his shoes and my relative picked up hers. When I looked up, he and the car were gone – a busy man.

I hurried inside the building because I was already late for practice/class. It was some kind of mixed setting of sit-down theory and physical martial arts class. I walked in to a gym, the floor had blue mats, the rafters were tall and steep but they were also covered in blue mats. The “seats” were more like standing seats.

I climbed up one step and tried to get by one person to find my seat and this bitch would not let me pass. In the end I made it pass her and found my place. Then as the instructor spoke, in my mind I was seeing the practice rounds. It was like an obstacle course set upon a round running track. One portion of it involved a 2 person basketball game. As long as you scored some technical points with a few baskets you can move on to the next obstacle. That’s all I remember.