I had travelled somewhere by plane and I was at the airport waiting for my return flight. I was maybe a couple hours from when I needed to be at the gate so I sat around outside, somewhere kind of quiet to chill out and enjoy the sun. It was windy out and I was so confident because I was early that I used my boarding pass as a bookmark. I set my book down briefly to take something else out of my bag and the wind took my boarding pass with it. I…freaked…out.
Immediately I started heading inside towards the gate, fumbling through my bag to look for a passport to show them at the counter, hoping they will print me another pass. However, I realized it must’ve been a domestic flight because I did not bring my passport. Aaah!!!
Nevertheless I headed towards the gates or counter as fast as I could, walking through the large concourse of the flight terminal. I remember I was on the second floor, looking over the ground floor, seeing all kinds of people weaving around each other as I tried to do the same. It just seemed like absolutely everything was getting in my way though.
I panicked some more, exhausted and frustrated. It was as if every big stride I took meant nothing. I was moving the distance I should’ve been but I felt no closer to where I should be. I was ready to just give up…but I kept on going.
I remembered the dream earlier today and for most of the day too. But something happened tonight and I am angry though not so much anymore…so I forgot…
A new year and new dreams. I wonder if the the running theme will be different this year as things continue to change in my life.
Last night I dreamt of death and I did not want to remember the dream. I felt bad. It was the death of roommate’s sister. Just writing this gives me the creeps. She is a sweet and wonderful person. Come to think of it there was also another death in the dream. I think it was Irish. Both deaths occured and it came to me as news along the grapevine. There had been some sort of natural disaster, a big storm, perhaps some flooding. I remember riding around on a speed bike along park paths after the flood had receded. There were still large pools of water everywhere.
I tried to avoid the pools and had to go into the grassy areas but without thick treads on my bike tires, I kept getting stuck. I remember being mildly annoyed but I would walk the bike along whenever this happened.
Then I remember walking around a busy food court inside a mall. I was supposed to be searching for something I wanted to eat but the death of two wonderful people weighed in my mind. I wasn’t sure if it was real or imagined. I just roamed the busy mall thinking about them.
Then I was in an apartment building, my apartment building. I had been stuck there for a few days. I went into the living room where my two roommates were lounging about watching tv. One was my husband’s niece who I’ve come to think of as a friend and another girl I cannot pinpoint as a person from real life. I announced to them, but more to myself, that I was going to the gym. I needed to get out and get motivated. I asked if either of them wanted to join me. They kind of grunted/grumbled in response then went right back to looking at the tv. I resolved to go out on my own. I didn’t really think there would be any uptake on my invitation anyway.