It was fall time. I am running through a neighbourhood to a house that felt like it should be home. The streets had lots of trees, leaves rustling. I stop at the corner of a group of town-houses (a shortcut to get there faster) and I pause, catching my breath.
Then it’s early winter. I am going through the same neighbourhood again in a vehicle, looking out the window. I am in the passenger seat, not driving (not sure who was). I watch as another little asian woman, stockier than me running through the same route as I did before. I am her and me at the same time. Again, I get close to the house but stop at the corner, catching my breath, not reaching my destination. In the vehicle I think to myself that the house is close to the subway in distance but not enough. It would seem very far in the midst of winter and that walk would be a drag.
Now it’s midday, maybe spring. The leaves are greener on the trees. I am going to a house in a silver SUV. My mother drove. We park on the street corner about 2 houses down from our destination. We see a car go behind us and pull into the driveway of the house next to ours. We waited and watched before walking towards or house because I did not want the neighbour to see us. As we stood waiting I had a flash of memory that we had done “this” before. “This” being that we’ve shot a scene of the indie movie on our front lawn. I saw myself in the scene (may have been a commercial) dresses in black gothy clothes with medium length blue dyed hair, pale-ish make-up on.
Then we walk towards the house and my mother actually approached the neighbour still in his car and asked if he wanted to help during our shoot. I was annoyed but didn’t say anything.
Then we were inside the house that would be the location for the shoot. We were just using a very simple camera. I setup the shot, camera position, which would be static. I would be in the scene and all my mom had to do was press record. I was pacing back and forth as she ran off to another room with the old dude (the neighbour) to look for an unnecessary prop – a little spoon spatula thing. You know sometimes when you are at a beauty counter and the person scoops out a little sample of cream out for you into a little sample tub? That thing. I went to the door of the room where she and the old dude were. They were kneeling on the floor, backs toward the doors, looking through the piles of paper and whatever other shit accumulated in that room, for a tiny little spatula.
I wanted to tell them to just forget about it but she WAS being super supportive of helping me shoot this useless video for whatever purpose. So I went back into the next room and called my sister. We talked on the phone for a little while. I think I was opening mail which may not have been hers and telling her what the contents were. I also told her mom was looking for a tiny spoon.
Then the doorbell rang and I opened the doors to the kitchen into the hallway. I was in the house that I grew up in. My current dog trotted towards the door and paused to look back at me. I saw the old dude approach the door from the left hallway to open the left door while my mom opened the right. Even though my dog wasn’t trying to dash out, my instant reaction was fear. Fear that she would dash out of the house like my dog used to do, the one I had growing up.
It was bright outside. I could see the light spill in through the open doors. Someone was coming up the walkway towards the storm door but it was so bright and I was only halfway down the hallways that I could not make out who it was.