A Crowded Courtroom

When I woke I had 3 key details. Then I rolled out of bed and 2 of them fell out my broken brain and evaporated.

Dreams 04.03.13
I was waiting just outside a courtroom to go inside. Through the open door I could see the judge raised in her seat on the platform. To the left, sitting or leaning against a wall (hidden from my view) were the applicants of various cases waiting for her decisions. Since the door was open I could hear the muffled sounds of the proceedings inside.

I poked my head inside the door and looked left to see if there was room for our group in there. There wasn’t. The wall was fully lined up with people from many walks of life. When I turned back I caught a glimpse if the judge staring at me disapprovingly. I gave her a small bow in apology and exited the courtroom completely.

Back to my group, I just gestured without audible sound that it was full inside. We would have to continue waiting. With me, I think I saw my bff, my mom, my uncle and husband. I turned back around to stare through the courtroom door, eagerly waiting, assuming my group has formed a single file line behind me.

Then the sounds of the proceedings indicated that they were wrapping up one case. The gavel went down after the judge spoke then I heard louder murmurs in the room. After some shuffling of shoes, I walked into the room again gesturing to my group to follow. This time when I looked to the wall there was enough space for all if us. I also saw that another applicant had taken the seat at the desk directly before the judge. A new case was about to be heard.

I took a place by the wall, assuming my group was doing the same and pretended to listen to the next set of proceedings. However, in my mind I was actually kind of excited. I felt like after this was done, something new would happen to me. Whatever it was, I just couldn’t wait. I could feel a smile slowly creep up to the corners of my lips and I worried that someone would see me be "inappropriate" in this most serious of places.

Game Convention and A Model Suite

Dreams 11.04.12
I was travellig with my mother, tagging along on her business travels. We stayed at the same hotel, same room. There wasn’t much happening in town during the day so I just slept a lot and surfed the net.

Then I found out there was a gaming convention happening not too far from the hotel. Just then, she returned to our hotel room from work. She saw me all excited, getting ready to go out so she asked where I was going. When I told her, she invited herself along as well. I felt annoyed but no way to say no so I thought to myself that there would be cutesy character stuff that would really interest her. If anything she could buy little trinkets and keychains.

We arrived at the convention hall which was filled with moving throngs of people. It wasn’t a large convention and it wasn’t very “nice”. The displays and vendor booths had lots of good merchandise though so it all looked worthwhile. We went into a large booth selling anime and character plushies and stickers and spent a good bit of time there. My eyes were drawn to many of the video game displays and longed to run off to play all the demos. I didn’t get a chance to though. My mother kept talking to vendors about stuff as if she wanted to purchase but ended up moving to the next booth.

Attached to the same convention hall was another exhibit, I wandered on my own into a condo showroom, which also had a model suite setup right on the convention hall. A bit of time had passed and I realized that I had purchased a condo they were selling and I was mock living at the model suite, making the bed, washing my hands, looking through the empty fridge.

I was biding my time, wishing I did not have to go back to the hotel room, waiting until the purchased condo was built, imagining life on my own.

Busy Station and a Pantsless Time

Dreams 11.03.12
I was inside a big mall or train station, could also be a mall connected to an airport. It was super crowded. I jumped onto a people mover, shuttle train thing. It started to move and I looked around and saw signs to the north west wing, knowing I need to go to the north east exit. The packed people mover was turning around.

With me was my midget jewish buddy (completely fictitious person from my dream) who is loudmouthed and abrasive. He was freaking out because he really wanted to get to the destination but also paranoid that there would be “racist fucks”, in his words, hidden amongst the other passengers. One big black guy sitting right in front of me started to get suspicious and turned in our direction. My little buddy snuck around to hide behind me and another passenger when he realized this.

The people mover went down one level, smoothly, as if we were going down an escalator then went up another track to the same level. That took us to the right wing. We arrived in a lounge area designed for gathering of passengers, a place to wait until the flight/train was ready for boarding. There was an elevator that would take us down to another shuttle which would drive us straight to the plane/train. I removed my one big suitcase from the people mover and dragged it across the lounge. I saw some familiar faces, one was df’s roommate. I mistakenly stepped into the elevator but knowing I’d come right back up, I didn’t try to rush out.

The elevator went down one floor and stopped. The stewardess/elevator operator said I had to put money in the coin slot or we wouldn’t be moving. What a scam, I thought. I fished out a handful of Thai coins and scrambled to find the right amount but all my coins were of a larger denomination than required. There was another person on the elevator, they pitched in and dropped in a coin and expected me to put in the rest. I had no choice but to put in a larger than needed amount. As soon as my coin dropped in, the elevator began to move up but the display on the panel showed that the excess amount had been transferred directory to the elevator company. Then the displayed went back to zero. Scam! But I just thought whatever and got out of the elevator back to the lounge.

Then I saw the arrival of all my mother’s luggage. There was a pile, a couple of suitcases, 3 multi-packs of paper towels, 2 big jugs of water and 4 6-packs of mustard. People started to gather round quietly commenting that it was too much luggage. I agreed with them and mentioned that I told her not to buy and bring all that.

Another dream
I just finished having sex with someone, not sure who, wasn’t even part of the dream. I went to my desk to sit down, with only underwear and a long button down shirt. I leaned back in the chair, a game controller in hand, legs up on the table and starred at the computer screen which was running what looked like Win95.

Then someone tapped my shoulder from behind. When I turned around to see that it was my cousin, the setting had changed into an office. I quickly sat up and rolled my chair close to the desk to hide my pantslessness.

My cousin said I know what happened with your parents, alluding to the fact that they had just gotten divorced. She walked back over to the opposite side of the bank of desks to sit down in her spot. She said we should get together and catch up. I agreed and suggested we invite more family friends so we could all chat.

Shooting ‘Round the Neighbourhood

Dreams 10.18.12
It was fall time. I am running through a neighbourhood to a house that felt like it should be home. The streets had lots of trees, leaves rustling. I stop at the corner of a group of town-houses (a shortcut to get there faster) and I pause, catching my breath.

Then it’s early winter. I am going through the same neighbourhood again in a vehicle, looking out the window. I am in the passenger seat, not driving (not sure who was). I watch as another little asian woman, stockier than me running through the same route as I did before. I am her and me at the same time. Again, I get close to the house but stop at the corner, catching my breath, not reaching my destination. In the vehicle I think to myself that the house is close to the subway in distance but not enough. It would seem very far in the midst of winter and that walk would be a drag.

Now it’s midday, maybe spring. The leaves are greener on the trees. I am going to a house in a silver SUV. My mother drove. We park on the street corner about 2 houses down from our destination. We see a car go behind us and pull into the driveway of the house next to ours. We waited and watched before walking towards or house because I did not want the neighbour to see us. As we stood waiting I had a flash of memory that we had done “this” before. “This” being that we’ve shot a scene of the indie movie on our front lawn. I saw myself in the scene (may have been a commercial) dresses in black gothy clothes with medium length blue dyed hair, pale-ish make-up on.

Then we walk towards the house and my mother actually approached the neighbour still in his car and asked if he wanted to help during our shoot. I was annoyed but didn’t say anything.

Then we were inside the house that would be the location for the shoot. We were just using a very simple camera. I setup the shot, camera position, which would be static. I would be in the scene and all my mom had to do was press record. I was pacing back and forth as she ran off to another room with the old dude (the neighbour) to look for an unnecessary prop – a little spoon spatula thing. You know sometimes when you are at a beauty counter and the person scoops out a little sample of cream out for you into a little sample tub? That thing. I went to the door of the room where she and the old dude were. They were kneeling on the floor, backs toward the doors, looking through the piles of paper and whatever other shit accumulated in that room, for a tiny little spatula.

I wanted to tell them to just forget about it but she WAS being super supportive of helping me shoot this useless video for whatever purpose. So I went back into the next room and called my sister. We talked on the phone for a little while. I think I was opening mail which may not have been hers and telling her what the contents were. I also told her mom was looking for a tiny spoon.

Then the doorbell rang and I opened the doors to the kitchen into the hallway. I was in the house that I grew up in. My current dog trotted towards the door and paused to look back at me. I saw the old dude approach the door from the left hallway to open the left door while my mom opened the right. Even though my dog wasn’t trying to dash out, my instant reaction was fear. Fear that she would dash out of the house like my dog used to do, the one I had growing up.

It was bright outside. I could see the light spill in through the open doors. Someone was coming up the walkway towards the storm door but it was so bright and I was only halfway down the hallways that I could not make out who it was.

Wheelchairs on a Double Decker

I remember there being 2 dreams last night but I woke up after the first one at 2:45am so I can’t remember it. Here’s the second…

Dreams 09.24.12
I was waiting at a bus stop with my sister who was in a wheelchair in the dream. We were on a busy street in HK. While we were waiting I had a quick vision of a map of the area (Google Map style) overlaid on top of my view of the street. My observation of the map was that there were a lot of small clusters of communities, short streets with many turns that came off the main road.

Finally a double decker bus approached the stop. By this time a couple of other people were waiting behind us. The bus stopped, its doors opened and to avoid holding everyone else up, I rushed to lift up the front wheels of the wheelchair onto the bus. Then the weight of the rest of the chair was a bit too much so I was going to have to muster up some strength. Then I heard a beeping sound and all the people going, “whoa whoa miss do you need help?” Then the wheelchair ramp on the bus was moving, that’s what the beeping was. I could see it moving underneath the wheelchair, now half on the sidewalk, walk on the bus.

Finally the ramp was set and I was able to just roll my sister in. The aisle was cramped. I tried to wheel it in as quickly as possible. Again to ensure I don’t get in other people’s way. I found the place where the chair should be strapped and did it as if I’ve done it before, the “proper” way according to the standard instructions of the bus. Then the bus started and I stood there holding onto the overhead rung, body swaying along with the motion of the bus. As we moved along, I was visualizing in my head a better way to get wheelchairs onto public transportation and safely locked into position.

Sleepovers, Shower Stalls, Sets, Speeches & Signals

Got about 5 full hours sleep last night and pretty sure I had 3 dreams and woke up at least twice. After the last dream, I did at one point remember everything but when I started to replay the details of the 3rd dream to myself, everything from dreams 1 and 2 disappeared. And then I snoozed and a lot of the beginning of dream 3 melted away as well.

Dreams 09.19.12
Furthest thing back in this dream that I can remember. I was in a highschool or university hallway. It was packed shoulder to shoulder with students and it was in the middle of the night. This was an event that happened once a year at Halloween where all the dorm rooms were open to strangers who would gather and party all night. The whole event ended in an assembly in the auditorium. I was waiting with the rest of the herd with a friend. He was brown, not df, actually he isn’t anyone I know irl, just a random element in my imagination. We looked at each other in anticipation and reached out and gave each other a hand squeeze. Then “they” fire the starting fun and the herd was let out down hallway. We spilled into the empty rooms, jamming in wherever possible.

My friend and I was pushed along with the herd into a room that had about 12 gym room shower sized stalls on each side. Actually each stall was also tiled like a shower stall. We actually were not able to nab a stall in this room so we slowly made our way out back into the main hall in search of another space to lay low for the night.

There’s a big chunk of the dream missing here. I’m not entirely sure if we found another room. I just know that later on, I snuck back into this same shower stall room, looked around to make sure no one was awake and went into the first stall on the left when you enter the room. The stall had someone else’s belongings on the floor. I recognized it as belonging to someone who had been extremely rude to us earlier. I lifted up my skirt, opened my legs and just pissed on their pile of belongings for revenge.

After that I remember myself in the POV of a camera on a dolly, tracking 2 people walking alongside a pedestrian street, in front of a bunch of interesting and colorful shops, restaurants and cafes. We were weaving through pedestrians walking in the opposite direction as the two people walking wove through the opposing throngs as well. I remember really liking the shot as it was very dynamic and interesting but also very casual at the same time.

Later, in a more static POV, one of the walking people depart. The remaining person walks under some sort of canopy so she is in the shade. Eliza Dushku dressed in a red sequined blazer and black mini skirt and black pumps come up behind her. The first girl turns around, greeting her excitedly. Eliza puts up her hands to show the first girl her fresh manicure, gleefully exclaims how happy she is with the color, the sparkle, etc. She was waving her hands in front of her chest and almost jumping for joy the way girls sometimes do when they are excited. From that, I understood somehow that I was in the middle of a movie set and we were just waiting for the next set up.

After that there’s another bit missing. I remember walking in the auditorium, all setup with round tables. People were seated but their attention was focused up on the stage. I walked with either my brown friend or somebody else and approached a table near the front. Someone there was about to go up on stage to make a speech but we had information for him to stop him or hopefully convince him to change the content of his speech. We went up to the table and the person we should’ve talked to stood up to adjust his clothes before going on stage. We were too late. Then I saw from the POV of the stage the person standing, looking up towards the stage. It was a much younger Clint Eastwood. I could see myself and the other person trying to inconspicuously go up to his table. Then I saw Clint walk away from the table to go on stage and me and the other guy JUST made it to the table. We were too late.

The last scene from this dream took place in the toy cars and model robots section of a toystore. All the boxes were stacked high. I was walking down one aisle, trying to be inconspicuous again, noticing a lot of big name products on display that were very intricately made and very cool. I was trying to sneak closer to two people fighting on the other side of a tower of display boxes, stacked about 2 meters high. When I was close to the boxes that blocked my way, I ducked down so I wouldn’t be seen.

In the aisle to my right, other members of my team were coming closer. We were supposed to sneak up and stop the fight and apprehend the two people involved. I was supposed to get a closer look and give the signal as to when they should move in. I don’t know what the two people were arguing about but the argument was becoming heated and they started to push each other around a bit. I looked behind me to the next aisle and made eye contact with my ex (highschool bf) to communicate that the time was almost right. He looked to his right to the squad leader who was also someone I knew but can’t recall right now. Then the pushing and shoving became more violent and I was just about to wave the signal for the team to go in when I woke up.

A Performance and Reunion Interrupted

This dream(s) occurred during the first long sleep of a 15 hour flight. I was pleasantly surprised that I would dream and remember anything at all, what with the loud hum of the engine and the uncomfortable surroundings. It did take many hours before I recorded this though, so the account is not as detailed as I’d like but you know, long distance in-flight entertainment is too tempting.

Dreams 09.01.12
I was at a concert with a few friends (df, irish, roommate and a few others) as well as husband. Weird concert: it was Justin Timberlake performing and there was a musical break. He was dancing and Jessica Biel jumped in to dance beside him, they were synchronized. I know it’s a weird image…but that moment of synchronized dancing was really moving in its own way. They gave each other knowing looks, big smiles. They were visibly happy, joyful. I was mesmerized, wishing I could feel what they must’ve been feeling.

Then the group seemed to be making their way out of the plastic stadium seats, pretty sure they were blue. I wanted to stay so I looked over at the guys making their move. Husband was leading the pack, roommate and Irish enjoyed the dancing but could’ve left at any moment. Df was quite intrigued by the dancing as well, he would’ve left if everyone wanted to go. When he saw that I wanted to linger, he spoke up and said let’s stay a little while longer but Husband still wanted to go. He either said or communicated somehow that this was “lame”. That there were “better” things to see and do. After lingering a few more moments, I gave in and got up to go.

The next part may have been part of a different dream. I got into df’s car into the front passenger seat as he rushed into the driver’s seat. We slammed the door shut at the same time. The car was parked on the side of an empty road by a field. The sky was a bright white. We looked at each other, smiling with our eyes. We had lots to say to each other but neither knew who to go first. We also wanted to just throw ourselves into each other’s arms in an embrace but sitting in the car like that would make things awkward. It was known that we decided to talk in the car for that very reason, to prevent, where possible, physical contact.

We were just teeming with energy at the sight of each other. I was wearing a long skirt and sandals and I threw my legs up in front of my chest onto the seat and hugged them, hiding my smile from him (because I was embarrassed at how silly I was being) and continued to stare at him from behind my knees. He stared at me too, smiling, expectantly.

I was just about to open my mouth to speak when I felt and heard a knock on my window. Df looked out at whoever was behind me his smile faded slightly. He kept the smile on his face while looking at whoever was there but it was no longer genuine. I didn’t want to turn to see who it was. It was either husband or anybody else would be just as bad because it was taking me/us out of the current moment, away from the sanctuary of the car. Df looked at me and gestured with his head and told me to please wait and be patient while he went to deal with this, whatever it was. Then he exited the car.