Combatting Misogyny Even In Dreams

Dreams 05.06.17
I was attending some kind of multi day conference. It was dinner time and I made my way to the dining hall where about 10 round tables were jam-packed into a slightly too small room. The room had wood paneling all around. It felt like I was inside a boat when I looked out the windows which were just blown out with white light that I really couldn’t see what was out there.

I went to my assigned table and found two other people already seated. One was a woman I had already met earlier during the event but didn’t have a chance to talk to yet. The other was a man, I believe he was Asian, possibly Chinese. I can’t remember exactly. He was dressed in a grey suit jacket, white shirt, no tie. He might even be a man I met years ago at the coffee shop where I worked during my first couple years of university. He was a professor of some sort at another local university who chatted me up, at least 15-20 years my elder while I was about 21. This person in later years emailed me again to try to get in touch but by then I had felt a bit creeped out by the circumstances of continuing a non-existent “friendship” which had basically no commonalities beyond the fact that he loved movies and I was attending film school. We probably spoke in person for a whole 90 minutes total over a few days when he went to the coffee shop. It was just weird.

Anyways something was being discussed or debated the the table. I don’t remember what it was. I said something which the man obviously disagreed with because he then said passive-aggressively that my mistake could be understood or tolerated because of my condition. The implication was that I had “baby-brain”. I didn’t even realize I was pregnant in the dream but I looked down at my belly and I was indeed just starting to show, about 3 months pregnant in had deduced in the moment. Nevertheless, whatever my point was, was not a mistake nor does baby-brain affect a person that early in a pregnancy, as far as I knew. I was very angry instantly and I could see that the other woman at the table was as well, though she was showing more discomfort than anger on her face. I responded almost instantly with something that called out this man for his misogyny, for his dismissal of a woman’s valid opinions. I’m pretty sure that I ended up yelling at him, told him he should not sit at this table or attend this conference which had a clear mandate to have a respectful and open exchange of ideas. That’s when I noticed others in the room staring. I saw other looks of discomfort but also other looks which encouraged or agreed with me, all from both men and women.

Then I “woke up” in the dream to my bf as per day our usual Saturday mornings. We started fooling around and he showed me his which was ridiculously‚Äč larger than normal. I started to but had to pee n also was a bit intimidated. I rolled out of bed to go to the washroom, turned around n saw a little dog jump off the bed. It was one of our old family dogs, the toy poodle Baby. She had some crazy bedhead going on. Then another larger dog jumped off the bed a d it was a Juju colored dog (my dog now) also with crazy bed head. After going to the washroom and crawling under the covers, I woke up for real.

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Dark Mirrors and Vomit in the Corner

Today’s recall is pretty bad. My dog must have some kind of bug so she woke me up three times between 1 to 7am to go do her business. I may need to take her to the vet tomorrow…

Dreams 08.28.12
This one, I remembering wandering around in a dark house. There really isn’t much detail. I think I was aware that other people should be in this house as well but I did not see them. I remember walking up to a mirror, seeing my own image but something in me automatically said out loud, “You are dreaming, you are dreaming, do a reality check!” I can’t remember what reality check I actually did, usually I look at my hands. So for a very short period I was lucid, semi in control of this dream. It wasn’t even like last time where there were things happening, changing, shifting constantly. It wasn’t like grasping a handful of sand at all.

This time was more like being teleported into a solid rock where you are fully aware of being there yet nothing is happening and probably nothing else is going to happen. I was in a dark grey room, in front of a mirror. That was all. I was once again unprepared to do what I want to achieve with lucid dreaming. I totally forgot my objective, just kind of blanked out. So then I tried to summon a familiar, safe thing (ie. df) but it’s been so long, guess he isn’t so familiar anymore. The thought was so intangible, absolutely nothing happened. Then I don’t know what came next and I woke up for the first time in the night.

In the second dream, I kind of had a false awakening except I was obviously not in my room at my mom’s house, not in the basement. It was brighter. I looked down to the left side of the bed, in the corner. I could see one of the dog’s rope toys and bits of doggy vomit. Then I vaguely recall the whiney guy from work cursing about the vomit…and in the dream I was just about to get up to clean it up. Then woke up to the dog’s whining in real life and let her outside again. Also somewhere in this dream, I saw a blue, rubbery hollowed out cube with shapes cut out on the sides. It was either a dog’s or kid’s toy.

After that there was only an hour and a half left before I was supposed to get up for work. I thought maybe I could try to chain myself back into that first dream with the dark room, since for some reason, it was somewhat fresh in my mind. But it didn’t really work and I don’t think I dreamed at all this third cycle because the dog woke me half an hour before alarm time.

Video Games and Soiled Sheets

I was talking to the girl at work, who had apparently spent 13 hrs in the 2 days playing a video game, delaying work on a project we were collaborating on, which was due in 3 days. I was annoyed but also sympathetic. I ended up joining her online to play this FPS.

I was lying in bed, In my room. I wake up in feeling all sticky and oily. I expect to look down and see my sheets slick and stained with orange liquid, thinking I am sick and there is something seriously wrong with me. Finally I roll off to clean up. I pulled off the sheets but they were clean. There was nothing. I am relieved because it meant I was ok.

Then there is some other long bit of action in the dream which in the end becomes a big waste of time and effort. I can’t remember what happened.

Post-Tripping and Cunty Highschool Bitches

04.15.12

Dream 1:
Woke up in a day bed by a window. I think I was Just coming back up from a p. cube trip. Something I have never experienced but been considering lately in real life. I don’t remember much after that but there was probably more.

Dream 2:
I was in my old house getting ready in the morning. I took out and set the makeup I’d use on my old white vanity table then went to get dressed in the washroom. When I come back to the room and it had turned into a classroom but vanity was still in the corner. I looked around but there were no seats near the vanity so I took a seat in the next island of tables anyway.

The teacher started the lesson. She was going through slides on a projector and she kept going too fast. Myself and a few other students requested her to slow down but the bitch just kept on going, with a smirk on her face! In fact, she deliberately quickened her pace.

I was so mad after the class was over I was storming through the halls n locker-rooms searching for something. I think I was searching for something to destroy. In a narrow hall, 2 male classmates behind were snickering about something. They were not laughing at me specifically but just making fun in general. I considered backing kicking them in the face. Instead I just turned around and charged my way past them.

Down another hallway, I see the teacher’s slides just sitting there on a sitting ledge. As I approach them, in my head thinking of good ways to destroy them, the teacher’s pet cunt blocks my way. She smugly starts to set up a perimeter around the slides with mini cones and tape. The ridiculousness really upset me and I try to go forward but her thugs stopped me.

I was really pissed off so I just turn to leave. Fuming, I climb a square pillar and stand on its ledge hugging the column. I could see the escalator go by, with many people going up it, looking up to find me in an awkward position. I was hoping that I could step off the ledge and just get carried away by it.

Someone pulls my leg and tried to coerce me to get down. Apparently I was making a scene and it’s not good for the department store business.