Weddings, Engagements and Zoning Out

Dream 05.02.12
My sister/bestie is visiting. They were kind of blended into one character, I’m not sure if it was both of them or sometimes one or the other. We were busy planning activities to do while she was here. My husband seemed to also be around but I never saw him once in the dream. Anyway I was trying to plan all possible activities while avoiding df on purpose. I was feeling a bit sad about it having to do that.

In a parking lot, I confess that fact to sister/bestie. They said they knew what I was trying to do and had considered breaking “us” up (not sure if she meant me+df since we were not together or me+husband) but had decided against it so I would make my own decision.

I was upset that they stood by and did nothing (even though it was my own fault). I ran away from her and it started pouring rain Sister/bestie came running after me.

Then it was bestie n her fiancee’s wedding reception. They are engaged IRL. I was there either with or without husband. I thought he might be there but didn’t really know in the dream. I didn’t see him and felt like I was there alone and was wondering if other people noticed.

Bestie called me over to where she was and she showed me the special dress she picked out for the occasion. I remember thinking it was kind of loud, not necessarily ugly but too much for my tastes. Also, I didn’t know what specific occasion she meant. Then there was an announcement that it was the couple’s first dance. I was feeling very happy for her as she went over to the “front” but then I couldn’t see her anymore over the crowd.

Then I was kind of zoned out at the party and realized bestie needed help with something but I was spaced out and did not come to her aid right away and there was nothing I could do at that point.

I was sitting on a couch just people watching at the reception. Music was playing. I overhear a conversation where they were discussing someone’s sketch and they actually had it in front of them. When I rolled/turned to them to try to join and and catch a glimpse of the sketch, they just kind of turned away and started talking about something else.

Dinner started. Someone down the bench table said something about a store that I regularly go to, that they sell full collections of a particularly geeky comic. I didn’t read the comic but knew of it and was interested but I was too embarassed and didn’t want people to know I went to this store.

Then I overhear another conversation where my old highschool friend Zann’s friends (Zann was not there) were talking about something I knew about. I can’t quite remember what happened here but I don’t think I joined in.

Later on way home on the subway, I run into Zann and we decide to go out and meet up with other people. We went to an underground lounge/bar/drink n draw / karaoke place. Just before we went down the stairs, we both texted people who were already there for the room #. She got the response. When we went in, turns out it was P+K (the two just got engaged IRL recently after being together for many years and at one point things got rocky and had broken up for about 6 months). I was happy to see two friends who I wasn’t close to but have known for a long time. When I saw them and how happy they were together, I felt alone again that I was married but “on my own”. I don’t know if lonely is the right word to describe the feeling. It’s more like I’m not actually “on my own” but it felt that way anyway and I knew it wasn’t the “right” feeling to have.

Then I was riding the subway again. This time I was with my cousin C (who has broken off her own engagement because she knew they were about to get married for the wrong reasons) and another friend who I can’t put a name to now. I was lost in my own thoughts and suddenly realized that they had gotten off the train at their stop. That’s what I deduced anyway since they were no longer on the train with me. I looked out the doors to see if I could still see them but found a very empty platform. I wondered where they were and finally came to the realization that I had zoned out. I felt bad and stupid.

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