Hotel Bills Refuted and A Carnival Game

Dreams 10.07.12
There was a confrontation with my husband while we were at a hotel. The hotel suite was huge! Anyway, I remember going up to him, telling him he is full of shit then snatching the phone from his ear. I was about to just rip right into the person on the other line but instead just waited to hear if she would say anything incriminating. I knew who it was. I could hear her breathing, ready to yell back at me but also knowing it was inappropriate so she held her tongue. I can’t remember if I ended up yelling at the person.

Later I am walking back to my hotel suite, to my side of the building. One of my friends/lackeys was walking up to me with a worried look on his face, holding a long print out that trailed behind him as he approached me. I took one look at it and was charged up, angry but glad. I took the paper, now trailing behind me, and stormed down to the hotel front desk. I plopped down the giant itemized room charge bill and yelled at them to remove all charges but the first item. I think the first item was just something normal, like something I knew I used/ordered. I angrily explained to the clerk that I was not here at the time of the second charge onwards to incur these charges to the hotel room. The clerk tried to say that nevertheless they had records of the room using those services. I said, “Listen honey! These were used by my husband and that bitch of his,” (I don’t know if I said mistress but that was the context of the dream even though not so in real life.) “So you better cancel them from my room because I sure as hell won’t be paying for them!” In the end, the hotel gave. I felt angry still but vindicated in some way.

After that, this might be the same or another dream. I was hanging out with a bunch of guys who were my friends but also they were into wrestling or some sort of martial arts. I just knew that from their bantering and physiques. We were at some carnival stall (red tent with colorful decorative flags) where they had a giant scale to measure your weight, one of those guess your weight games. I believe we took turns going on the scale. I was last. Just before or after going on the scale. I dropped down on the floor and did a bunch of push-ups. I was struggling to get through them but my friends cheered me on, encouraging me.


A Concert Mission

I did NOT become lucid or aware or even remember anything during the long sleep last night. But my morning 8-9:30am nap resulted in a successful dream-chaining and a very detailed account. I guess that’s something to be happy about.

I downloaded Sleep Cycle for my iPod Touch. My friend told me it wouldn’t work because I sleep on a memory foam bed with the dog and another person but it seemed to register things well and I’d say fairly accurately from last night. Maybe I can work out my REM cycles and setup some timed audio cues while I sleep in the future.

Dreams 07.06.12
I am inside a large resort (kind of like a ski lodge) with some friends, not very close. They were all sitting in the cafeteria area having a laugh. I felt isolated as I walked past them and nobody noticed but in truth I was withdrawing anyway.

I carried a bag of clothes and other personal items down the stairs and went inside a long room with high ceilings. It was a big room where all the walls were covered with those small pay lockers you get at the pool. I shoved my things into one without paying and went outside.

The outside of the resort was a large concrete yard with a sloped-up grass lawn at the edge. At the top of the slope were mesh fences. If you looked at this “resort” from an aerial view it would probably look more like a compound or a prison. I went up to the fence and started throwing things onto it. It felt like I was doing some kind of work. For whom? I don’t know.

On the other side of the fence, a huge concert event was happening and Halestorm was playing one of their awesome songs. I started belting it out along with the music. Then I noticed someone else close by was doing it too. I looked down the slope to my right and saw another girl sitting on the lawn belting it out. She was just lying their on a towel. There was a guy next to her sleeping with something over his face.

She was younger than me, maybe in her late teens or early twenties. I would say that I feel like if my teen years had been slightly different, she’s who I would’ve been in that age. In reality I became more like that in my mid twenties after university – individual and free-spirited. She looked up at me in acknowledgment. I turned back towards the fence to do my “work”, still singing loudly, now in unison with the girl. I observed the tents and field where the concert was happening wishing I was there. Then the girl asked me, “So are we gonna go or what?”

I stopped working, turned around and started walking back towards the building and without looking at her, said, “Hells yes!” I knew she got up at that point to follow me. Then I said, “If you don’t mind I’m just gonna find the locker I didn’t pay for and put my tools in there so we could go. I don’t want to be carrying this stuff with me.” I’m not sure if she voiced this next concern out loud but there was a concensus and worry that since I hadn’t paid for the locker, the establishmebt may confiscate my belongings.

We went back into the long room which now had different areas, shelves, racks full of books, videotapes and records. I was walking and searching fast, literally jumping from shelf to shelf looking for a large tan leather bag. I knew I would recognize it from far away but after much hopping around like a ninja on the shelves, we found nothing. I wasn’t panicking or anything. The reality that my stuff is now gone didn’t really phase me. I knew that it was probably safe with the authorities. All I would have to do is go to them to ask for it and likely pay a large fine. I was prepared to do so. For a moment a visual montage of locker doors and the coin inserting mechanism of the lockers flashed before my eyes. I realized then that THAT was how I could’ve paid for the lockers. I didn’t realize it then, when I first put my things in.

I actually woke up from the dream at this point and took a few moments to remember. Then quickly drifted back in and chained the dream. No lucidity though, just continued with the flow.

I felt slightly stupid. The coin inserting mechanism obviously said how much they cost: “$4 for 2hr”. Relatively cheap compared to the fine which I was expecting to be $800. I figured I would tell the authorities the truth, that I figured there was a price but it wasn’t clear to me at the time where the coin mechanism was when I went up to a locker so I just used it and walked away. I can only hope the fine isn’t too big.

I said to the girl, “Let’s just go and we’ll come back for my stuff later.” She said, “If that’s what you want.”

We arrived at the concert ground, just outside the entrance. There were lots of people milling about and you can see just past the entrance to the tent that it was packed inside. Outside, amongst the people there was a gap, in the middle the members of Halestorm were chilling out, taking a break. The girl exclaimed, “Ooh! There’s” She said a name of one of the male bandmembers. I don’t even know if it was true. I considered asking her if she wanted to run up to the band and just scream like prepubescent girls but decided against it. It would be silly fun but I wasn’t really up for it.

We got past the entrance. The bouncer stopped us for a few seconds and waved a couple of other people in. Then he waved us in. When we got in, we followed some others which took us upstairs, across a bridge, etc. The building had a lot of rooms and hallways divided by aluminum frames with glass windows. A lot of the frames also had no glass. With each turn I felt like we were getting further from the concert, our destination. I knew we were getting lost.

Finally the hallway ended and we arrived at the edge of the building. The whole wall had been blasted through. It looked over a beautiful otherworldly scene. It was as if the building sat on the edge of a cliff, overlooking a bay below with blueish-purple water. I had a quick telescopic view of the ultra blue waves in the bay crashing against the shores. The mountainside in the distance looked normal, black and brown but before us and on the slopes down in front of us, it was just mounds of course white something shimmering in the light. The sun was setting in deep shades of oranges, reds and pinks. It was alien and beautiful.

I knelt down in front of the white mounds in front of us and dug my arms into the white stuff, elbows deep. It was coarse white salt. I looked at the girl who had dug her arms in too. We were both excited and ecstatic, in awe of the landscape before us. After some moments, we came to our senses and decided to find our way back to the concert again. We turned back the way we came and there was a man, a janitor, custodian type draggin something heavy behind him. It was partly invisible, the part that actually touched the ground. When we passed him I got a better look. It was a gental L-shaped glass thing, rimmed on one side by brushed aluminum. The glass must’ve been 2 inches thick but clearer than any glass could be. I can’t imagine what it was for but it was heavy.

Then we were back downstairs, in the tent where the concert was. The band was back on stage playing and it was dark with flashing lights. I lead the way, weaving through the crowds looking for openings and opportunites to get closer. I’d look behind me every so often to check on the girl, if she was keeping up. Then I found a spot to settle in about 40 feet from the stage. It looked like a good spot to enjoy the rest of the concert. I reached my right arm back to find the girl’s hand, to pull her in behind me.

Instead, when I pulled and looked back, it was a man. Nobody I knew but in the dream I was receptive. He was slightly taller than me, well built, head shaved close. He felt like he was a boyfriend in the dream, not someone I’m totally in love with but just enjoying each other, revelling still in the beginnings of connection. He came up close behind me and we just swayed and enjoyed the concert with our bodies close, warm. It felt really good.

Tanning and a Missed Show

Dream 05.11.12
I was at a tanning salon with J. Husband was waiting with us. The salon lady put cream on our faces and bodies and just told us to wait. We wait forever. The salon was on a second floor, with ceiling to floor glass windows which looked out over the strip mall it was in. We basically watched the whole day go by from daytime to night. There was a convenience store, a dirty chinese restaurant and also a local bar at the corner.

When it was night, husband didn’t seem to be waiting around anymore. I’m not sure where J went either. I decided to just leave. I went down to the strip mall into a model/craft store. The guy behind the counter was some middle-aged chinese dude. There were a lot of 8-10 year old boys browsing in the store. I think I asked the guy something and he couldn’t answer me because all the boys were

Then I was walking around on a university campus, wandering looking for a place to site on my own. I passed a mirror along the way and saw my reflection. My face wasn’t tanned or glowing. It looked more like I had a sunburn but I didn’t even feel it. I think I was upset at the tanning salon a bit and felt ripped off.

Finally I found a small square table and sat down on my own. Two guys approached and one sat down. Apparently he saw me at the tanning salon earlier but with my husband.
He tried to ask me out for coffee, something about being afraid because my husband was around earlier. I smiled and turned away, laughing to myself at how ridiculous this dance was. Then I said to him and refused his invite. His buddy laughs.

Then I was walking through a bar looking around for familiar faces. I saw a bunch of friends that I barely hang with anymore. One of them saw me and made an ambiguously gesture to invited me over to say hi or sit down. I was apprehensive at first but decided to join them anyway. Someone beside me orders a big plate of fried fish with rice. When the waitress brought this massive plate, I was offered some but instead a ordered a pint.

Later I am walking through the back of a theatre. The walls were all a dirty dusty rose. There was a musical show happening on stage and I was just wandering around but with a non-urgent feeling that someone was after me and I did not want to be caught.

Another Party

I woke up this morning and had excellent recall of the whole dream. I replayed it all in my head but as soon as I got out of the covers, the whole middle chunk went missing. Before I fell asleep last night, I had told myself that I wanted to know “Why can’t I walk away?” and “What am I afraid of?” I wanted this answered but not sure if this dream really did that. I have put some meaning to some of this in my head…but not sure if I am reading too much into it either.

Dreams 04.27.12

I was carefully setting up for a party in my mom’s house. My job was to move the xbox and related peripherals from the tv and hook it all up to the projector. It wasn’t’ actually her current basement, it had all wood panelling, a white leather couch facing the opposite way of where the wall for the projected image would be. Anyway, I moved each piece of equipment over to the right side of the projection wall and hooked it up.  I started with the console, then the receiver, then the kinect. Then for some reason, there was also a Dance Dance style controller pad, but it was made of a terry cloth towel material and the pattern on it looked more like a Twister mat.

While I was setting up, I think my mom kept coming downstairs to get other things ready so she interrupted me a few times. When everything was plugged in, I turned on the project to see how it would look.  The projected image was actually much bigger than the screen, which only took up about a third of the wall.  I looked at the image and thought to myself, that’s actually not that great.  How am I gonna get this screen down now? In the end, I’m not sure what happened, can’t remember if I “fixed” it or not.

Then the middle chunk of the dream is where I forgot everything. I believe it had something to do with filming and production but can’t be sure.

The last part of the dream, I took off from whatever I was doing in the middle chunk, to go shopping. I went to the mall, which had a really tall ceiling, big windows so light was pouring in from top. The store I was approaching had a huge line-up. Everyone was waiting outside for it to open. It was just a clothing store so I wondered what the hubbub was about. There were already racks of clothes displayed outside. I noticed bighead, roommate and big E waiting around at the front of the line so I joined them. They were talking and we were kind of mulling about the racks on display. I saw a cute little dress that I showed bighead, maybe I’d get it for his baby girl. He shook his head and said it’s okay, even cheaper in China or something to that effect. I kept on looking at the racks while the boys talked. They weren’t excluding me in particular but I remember having a feeling that I was “out of touch” with my friends as they talked. Then I picked up a beige pair of rouched cargo capris with belt on a rack. It was $8 and I thought what a bargain that was, I should buy it. However I ended up putting it back on the rack.

Dream or Revelations?

Over the past couple weeks I have been making progress in my daily dream recall with the ultimate goal to become lucid. Apart from wanting to try certain activities while lucid, I was also hoping this journey into the dream world would allow me some much needed conversation with my subconscious.

I’ve been struggling with certain conflicts between my heart, body and mind for quite a long time now. It seems to have been a never ending struggle in the past 8 years where I often doubted if the final outcome was what I actually chose. Or perhaps my mind told me the logical steps to take even though my heart and body told me otherwise. Usually my heart has been caught somewhere in the middle and ultimately the mind won the battle.

Now, I am at a point where it seems the heart and body are mostly on one side but my mind is standing strong, trying to tug my heart to its side. Now more than ever, I feel the need to listen to my subconscious, who has perhaps known the truth all along but my mind just shielded me from it. Perhaps because the real truth would hurt, a lot.

Anyways, I will start logging what I recall from my dreams here. Here is a first entry for last night’s 2 dreams.

Dream 1:
My dear friend drives me to a bus stop located on the side of a deserted parking lot. It is late at night, only a few street lamps are on. It is windy, cold and snowy.

My husband appears at the bus stop. My friend sees that I am “safe” and drives off into the night. My husband asks me when the bus is arriving. I check the schedule and it says 11:20pm but I knew it was never going to come. He asks me a few more times and I repeat the time the bus should arrive. We just wait in the cold, standing a couple feet apart from each other.

Dream 2:
I am on a brand new luxury coach bus. My dear friend, roommate and Ginger are all on the bus but sitting separately. The bus is full of people. Everyone on the bus is going to Ginger’s house. Apparently his family is hosting some gathering.

We arrive outside the destination and Ginger tries to get off the bus first to lead the way. He is pissed drunk, slurring and stumbling his way out of the bus, tripping at times as he passes the seats.

When we are off the bus, we are somehow immediately inside. It’s supposed to be his family’s house (but not like the one irl), this one is huge. There are a lot of people here, much more than I had expected. I knew no one besides my dear friend and roommate.

We make our way to where food was supposed being served and encounter a super long line up into the basement where a huge buffet of sorts was setup. But there were so many people, the line moved slowly. We waited in line anyway just hanging out.

That’s all I remember from this dream.

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